Out Life: Day 9
I got off the train after work, walked to my car, turned the key and turned up my radio. I was driving home when I got a very strange feeling that I was going to be walking into something other than my usual fare when I got home. Who knew I had intuition...
I walked in the door and my family was eating dinner, so I joined them. We chatted about our days. We laughed, we joked, we teased; normal stuff. I finished, washed the dishes and walked to my room, but there was something different.
On my chair, my brother had left me a note. He may not be the best writer, but I will type what he wrote verbatim so you can appreciate the effort put into it:
Steven,
As you can expect, this is hard for me to phantom and process rite now. I would just like to let you know that I will always be there for you as I have always been in the past. This doesn't change how I view you; you are still and always will be my brother. I accept you for who u are and whatever path to choose to go down to in life, I am behind you 100%. As long as you are happy and comfortable with yourself, then I am happy for you. I love you with all my heart and I am your brother. Please don't ever feel that you can't talk to me about things. I am always open ears, just as you have been there for me when I needed someone to talk to. This is something that is going to take a bit to set in, but I am sure you are understanding of that. I love you more than words can ever say and am always here for you both as a brother and your friend.
Love your brother,
Chris
So yeah... pretty much the highlight of my year. Knowing I have my big brother in my corner to help me with my parents is HUGE! However, the night still was not over...
My brother told me he had confided in some of his friends. He was sheepish but I reminded him and my parents that I am not ashamed of who I am, they are free to tell. However, these friends often talk to my aunt. My aunt is essentially a second mother to me. My family thought it best to get to my aunt before our mutual friends. Without missing a step, the three of them piled into the car with me to head to her house, apologizing for putting me on the spot. What was more important to me was that they all literally fought to go with me and support me.
We arrived at my aunt's house and chatted, but she is rather observant and said "Okay, you're all here at once. Is something wrong?" Mom answered, "Yes-- well, not wrong, but there is something". So it was my turn, and I told this woman I love dearly "I'm gay". She responded, "I don't care, I love you, it doesn't matter in the least". My dad, anticipating horrible shock and sadness, tried to comfort her and, bless her tiger's heart, my aunt rounded on my father. She told her older brother "I am not a homophobe like YOU. This is your SON, the same person he has ALWAYS BEEN. He had no choice in this. IT IS GENETIC. He is not going to change and YOU need to get over yourself". So after we all picked our jaws off the floor, my Dad responded "I know... I know". I think my aunt gave her big brother the kick in the pants that would have been inappropriate coming from me. She even rebuked him about how to handle telling my grandparents "He's their grandson and they will love him no matter what". Dam I love my aunt!
After this the air was so clear. My parents were expecting tears, but me, my brother and my aunt were just happy family members enjoying each others' company. My parents relented and joined in. We even joked. I made a joke to test the waters. Since I recently removed a chest of drawers from my room, I put a lot of my things in my closet, so I said "Well there was a lot of room in there now since I'm not in it anymore". Everyone but my dad burst out laughing. So my aunt said "Lighten up Peter", so he smiled and just let the joke go.
Overall, I ended the day with so much positive affirmation of who I am. Especially from my brother's letter. I gained an extremely powerfull ally in my aunt. In addition, and probably most important, my parent's were told by a respected peer that I am normal and the world is not ending because I am gay. Each day, more and more people are learning of the real me, and each day I am becoming more and more complete.
Thanks everyone,
Steve
I walked in the door and my family was eating dinner, so I joined them. We chatted about our days. We laughed, we joked, we teased; normal stuff. I finished, washed the dishes and walked to my room, but there was something different.
On my chair, my brother had left me a note. He may not be the best writer, but I will type what he wrote verbatim so you can appreciate the effort put into it:
Steven,
As you can expect, this is hard for me to phantom and process rite now. I would just like to let you know that I will always be there for you as I have always been in the past. This doesn't change how I view you; you are still and always will be my brother. I accept you for who u are and whatever path to choose to go down to in life, I am behind you 100%. As long as you are happy and comfortable with yourself, then I am happy for you. I love you with all my heart and I am your brother. Please don't ever feel that you can't talk to me about things. I am always open ears, just as you have been there for me when I needed someone to talk to. This is something that is going to take a bit to set in, but I am sure you are understanding of that. I love you more than words can ever say and am always here for you both as a brother and your friend.
Love your brother,
Chris
So yeah... pretty much the highlight of my year. Knowing I have my big brother in my corner to help me with my parents is HUGE! However, the night still was not over...
My brother told me he had confided in some of his friends. He was sheepish but I reminded him and my parents that I am not ashamed of who I am, they are free to tell. However, these friends often talk to my aunt. My aunt is essentially a second mother to me. My family thought it best to get to my aunt before our mutual friends. Without missing a step, the three of them piled into the car with me to head to her house, apologizing for putting me on the spot. What was more important to me was that they all literally fought to go with me and support me.
We arrived at my aunt's house and chatted, but she is rather observant and said "Okay, you're all here at once. Is something wrong?" Mom answered, "Yes-- well, not wrong, but there is something". So it was my turn, and I told this woman I love dearly "I'm gay". She responded, "I don't care, I love you, it doesn't matter in the least". My dad, anticipating horrible shock and sadness, tried to comfort her and, bless her tiger's heart, my aunt rounded on my father. She told her older brother "I am not a homophobe like YOU. This is your SON, the same person he has ALWAYS BEEN. He had no choice in this. IT IS GENETIC. He is not going to change and YOU need to get over yourself". So after we all picked our jaws off the floor, my Dad responded "I know... I know". I think my aunt gave her big brother the kick in the pants that would have been inappropriate coming from me. She even rebuked him about how to handle telling my grandparents "He's their grandson and they will love him no matter what". Dam I love my aunt!
After this the air was so clear. My parents were expecting tears, but me, my brother and my aunt were just happy family members enjoying each others' company. My parents relented and joined in. We even joked. I made a joke to test the waters. Since I recently removed a chest of drawers from my room, I put a lot of my things in my closet, so I said "Well there was a lot of room in there now since I'm not in it anymore". Everyone but my dad burst out laughing. So my aunt said "Lighten up Peter", so he smiled and just let the joke go.
Overall, I ended the day with so much positive affirmation of who I am. Especially from my brother's letter. I gained an extremely powerfull ally in my aunt. In addition, and probably most important, my parent's were told by a respected peer that I am normal and the world is not ending because I am gay. Each day, more and more people are learning of the real me, and each day I am becoming more and more complete.
Thanks everyone,
Steve
Replies
Wow, Steve. What an encouragement for you. Enjoy your day! xxoo Ash