Out Life: Day 1
Its my first day after coming out to my parents. Sadly my mom says she and my dad were up all night, unable to sleep. So obviously this is distressing them a bit. My mom for her part acknowledges that I have no choice in this and is being supportive. I do recognize that she is hurting, but for all the world she is genuinely happy that I'm happy. My dad... has been quiet, but not negative. Apparently he told my mom that he wished I'd "come to my senses", but she in turn told him that I didn't really have a choice and it's not going to happen.
All day I've been trying to go about my routine as usual. Fix up the house a bit, do some client work, etc. to reinforce that the only thing different is how much they know (therefore I've always been me).
Tonight at dinner my dad, out of nowhere, came up to me, hugged me and said "I love you buddy" (and this is a severely emotionally closed off guy). This in turn made my mom's waterworks start. Great moment!
So yeah... my parents are hurting a bit, but ultimately they are supportive so far. It's strange, they fear the gay-bashing for me, but I have very thick skin. I have never entertained an insult as personal because frankly, I don't have the time to waste on stupidity and ignorance. I'm actually more worried about the gay-bashing on them, what will happen when their friends find out they have a gay son? They're strong people, well versed in strategy and poise, but they do hold others' opinions dearly. I now know they won't abandon me, I'm just scared about the hurt they're going to feel. We're each scared for each other and not ourselves, if that' not family I don't know what is.
All day I've been trying to go about my routine as usual. Fix up the house a bit, do some client work, etc. to reinforce that the only thing different is how much they know (therefore I've always been me).
Tonight at dinner my dad, out of nowhere, came up to me, hugged me and said "I love you buddy" (and this is a severely emotionally closed off guy). This in turn made my mom's waterworks start. Great moment!
So yeah... my parents are hurting a bit, but ultimately they are supportive so far. It's strange, they fear the gay-bashing for me, but I have very thick skin. I have never entertained an insult as personal because frankly, I don't have the time to waste on stupidity and ignorance. I'm actually more worried about the gay-bashing on them, what will happen when their friends find out they have a gay son? They're strong people, well versed in strategy and poise, but they do hold others' opinions dearly. I now know they won't abandon me, I'm just scared about the hurt they're going to feel. We're each scared for each other and not ourselves, if that' not family I don't know what is.
Replies
\"the only thing different is how much they know (.. I\'ve always been me)\". That\'s a really great statement that I will always remember thank u. Hey, have u had anything published?! U have really hit the nail on the head with so many things here. I love to write myself. And aprecciate what you\'ve had to say. Thanks so much for sharing your experience. Tomorrow may be tough, really tough, but from what I\'m coming to know about you... u can truely make a difference in peoples lives, as u (in great strength) make it through for yourself. Thanks heaps my friend. xxoo Ashley
Thanks Ash, yes I have had things published just not my writing (I\'m a professional graphic designer). I think I\'m so well versed because I was a Resident Assistant for 3 years at my University. We receive Safe Space Certification to assist any student in need from the LGBTQ community (ironic huh?). Thanks for the kindness!
It sounds like you have great family. My nephew is gay and most of the family and friends guessed any way but his mum and dad were shocked, his mum came to terms with it but his dad never did, which was a shame.
Maria