Our story...
EHS class of 1997 senior prom. If I'm being technical that was our first date. Dina's best friend since 3rd grade, Kim, who was more sister than friend, was dating a guy I was good friends with at the time. Dina and her friend just HAD to go to the prom in the same car. Kim and her boyfriend began suggesting guys that she could go with. I knew Kim through my friend but I did not know Dina at this point. Kim suggested me and Dina didn't revolt. She probably wasn't thrilled but she didn't say no! My friend suggested I ask her. I did and she said yes. She exaggerated the nerdiness of my phone call until final days but not to worry because a friend I didn't even know at the time has taken that story as his own and repeats it often! We got to know each other before the prom and then went that night and had a blast. We continued to talk after the prom and had our first official date on 6/21/1997. We saw My Best Friend's Wedding at the movies. I find out later that she was quite sick that night but wasn't going to let that stop her. She was also mortified when I showed up with my jackass twin brother and a couple jackass friends in the car. She began to think she was so dumb for thinking it was a date. I was only dropping them off at the nearby train station but in hindsight I can see how that motley crew would strike some fear!
We continued to date throughout that summer and then went off to college. Our colleges were about an hour apart. It was not always easy but we made it through. Lots of visits to each other's schools or trips home or to a mutual friend's school for the weekend to see each other. There were definitely some ups and downs once we were graduated and home from school. There was an adjustment to be as nearby to each other everyday after having part of our lives that were our own for 4 years. But again we made it through. Lots of parties, camping trips, concerts, day trips, nights on the town with friends and even a Caribbean cruise. It was a fun time made even better because we had each other.
In September 2004 we moved in together. It was a small apartment in the city we grew up in but one of my uncles owned the house so the rent was very affordable. It was old and small but we loved it. We painted and decorated and made it our own. There were obviously growing pains living with someone for the first time but it made us closer. And I think the time apart at college allowed us to realize that we each needed some space. We continued to do the things we liked together and continued to have fun, including a second cruise.
Finally in June 2006 I came to my senses and asked Dina to marry me. She loved NYC, even more so because of Sex and the City, so I proposed in a remote part of Central Park that I probably wouldn't be able to find today! Planning, and disagreeing, began and we were married on July 7, 2007. And for the record that date was more convenience than anything! We didn't need the wedding to be on 7/7/7, it just worked out that way! We honeymooned in Hawaii and it was fantastic. At the end of April 2008 we bought our house, about 15 miles north of where we each spent the first 29 years of our lives. We did a lot of painting and went through all the growing pains of first time homeowners but we loved our house.
August 2009 brought on the real life changer. That is when we found out Dina has pregnant with our first, and only, child. We prepared as best we could for the next 8 months and then on March 17, 2010, five weeks early but healthy, we welcomed our beautiful daughter into the world. She changed everything, in the best ways possible. She adored her Mommy right from the start and Dina loved her more than anything in this world. We did everything we possibly could for her and with her. Some things became tricky and there was definitely stress but everything was more fun. Dina was an absolutely amazing mother. Hopefully my daughter inherited her good qualities, of which there were many.
And here we are today. There were health concerns throughout all of this, primarily as a result of surviving childhood cancer and mostly breathing related. The main issue was a damaged mitral valve in her heart. We had known for a long time that it would need to replaced but we were hoping it would be later rather than sooner. Unfortunately that was not the case. It was replaced in mid-October 2012. That went well and she was home two weeks later. Once she was fully recovered this was supposed to make our lives a little better/easier as it was supposed to improve her breathing. After a few weeks she was dealing with a minor, not uncommon issue of fluid accumulation. It was dealt with as it came up for a couple weeks but she was finally admitted to the hospital again on December 9, 2012 to try to put a stop to it. She was never home again.
Just about a week after being admitted everyhting fell apart when her heart stopped after a relatively minor procedure and she required nearly 10 minutes of CPR to be revived. This was obviously not good from a physical or neurological perspective. We actually thought it was all over that day. But she continued to prove how strong she was. She miraculously pulled through and over the next few months she improved every day. There were many ups and downs along the way but all signs pointed to a full recovery, albeit with a long road ahead. In mid-March she moved to rehab but was only there a couple days. She was sent back to the hospital with what turned out to be an infection and pneumonia. After such a long road to rehab and having to go back to the hospital after only a couple days it was a big mental blow for her. But she fought again. Then there was another blow. At the beginning of April her father passed away suddenly and unexpectedly. And she couldn't go to the services. It was awful. But she fought again. Just over two weeks after going back to the hospital she went back to rehab...on the day her father was buried.
This was it. The hope was that everything was behind us from a medical standpoint and it was time to move forward, even though it was still going to be along road. Not so much. Two days later, after a lengthy, painful headache and not being her responsive and aware self a brain hemorrhage was found. It was too late to do anything that would preserve any kind of quality life that she would have wanted. It was over on April 11, 2013, and not even a week removed from her father passing. And from something that seems completely unrelated to all the previous issues she so strongly, courageously and inspirationally fought off.
It's just over three weeks later and I'm still trying to make sense of everything. So many different feelings and emotions. Not to mention that I'm left to raise our now 3 year old daughter without her. Life will never be the same. This isn't the way it was supposed to be. It doesn't seem fair. We had so much left to do together, as a family. I would give up a whole lot to have one normal day with her. I spent all but a handful of days of this very lengthy ordeal at the hospital with her. We hadn't had a 'normal' day in four months. She had a trachea tube in for most of the time too so we hadn't even had a 'normal' converation in many months. I know this is all still extremely fresh and that over time this will get easier but things will never be as they were, and that sucks. I'm grateful to have our daughter to keep pushing me forward and keep a smile on my face. And my support network of family and friends is extremely large, loving and helpful. All of this will help me get through this but it's not the same. I want to see her, hold her, talk to her...and I'll never do that again. I can only hope that eventually the pain eases and that I raise our daughter in a way that she would have wanted and makes her proud.
We continued to date throughout that summer and then went off to college. Our colleges were about an hour apart. It was not always easy but we made it through. Lots of visits to each other's schools or trips home or to a mutual friend's school for the weekend to see each other. There were definitely some ups and downs once we were graduated and home from school. There was an adjustment to be as nearby to each other everyday after having part of our lives that were our own for 4 years. But again we made it through. Lots of parties, camping trips, concerts, day trips, nights on the town with friends and even a Caribbean cruise. It was a fun time made even better because we had each other.
In September 2004 we moved in together. It was a small apartment in the city we grew up in but one of my uncles owned the house so the rent was very affordable. It was old and small but we loved it. We painted and decorated and made it our own. There were obviously growing pains living with someone for the first time but it made us closer. And I think the time apart at college allowed us to realize that we each needed some space. We continued to do the things we liked together and continued to have fun, including a second cruise.
Finally in June 2006 I came to my senses and asked Dina to marry me. She loved NYC, even more so because of Sex and the City, so I proposed in a remote part of Central Park that I probably wouldn't be able to find today! Planning, and disagreeing, began and we were married on July 7, 2007. And for the record that date was more convenience than anything! We didn't need the wedding to be on 7/7/7, it just worked out that way! We honeymooned in Hawaii and it was fantastic. At the end of April 2008 we bought our house, about 15 miles north of where we each spent the first 29 years of our lives. We did a lot of painting and went through all the growing pains of first time homeowners but we loved our house.
August 2009 brought on the real life changer. That is when we found out Dina has pregnant with our first, and only, child. We prepared as best we could for the next 8 months and then on March 17, 2010, five weeks early but healthy, we welcomed our beautiful daughter into the world. She changed everything, in the best ways possible. She adored her Mommy right from the start and Dina loved her more than anything in this world. We did everything we possibly could for her and with her. Some things became tricky and there was definitely stress but everything was more fun. Dina was an absolutely amazing mother. Hopefully my daughter inherited her good qualities, of which there were many.
And here we are today. There were health concerns throughout all of this, primarily as a result of surviving childhood cancer and mostly breathing related. The main issue was a damaged mitral valve in her heart. We had known for a long time that it would need to replaced but we were hoping it would be later rather than sooner. Unfortunately that was not the case. It was replaced in mid-October 2012. That went well and she was home two weeks later. Once she was fully recovered this was supposed to make our lives a little better/easier as it was supposed to improve her breathing. After a few weeks she was dealing with a minor, not uncommon issue of fluid accumulation. It was dealt with as it came up for a couple weeks but she was finally admitted to the hospital again on December 9, 2012 to try to put a stop to it. She was never home again.
Just about a week after being admitted everyhting fell apart when her heart stopped after a relatively minor procedure and she required nearly 10 minutes of CPR to be revived. This was obviously not good from a physical or neurological perspective. We actually thought it was all over that day. But she continued to prove how strong she was. She miraculously pulled through and over the next few months she improved every day. There were many ups and downs along the way but all signs pointed to a full recovery, albeit with a long road ahead. In mid-March she moved to rehab but was only there a couple days. She was sent back to the hospital with what turned out to be an infection and pneumonia. After such a long road to rehab and having to go back to the hospital after only a couple days it was a big mental blow for her. But she fought again. Then there was another blow. At the beginning of April her father passed away suddenly and unexpectedly. And she couldn't go to the services. It was awful. But she fought again. Just over two weeks after going back to the hospital she went back to rehab...on the day her father was buried.
This was it. The hope was that everything was behind us from a medical standpoint and it was time to move forward, even though it was still going to be along road. Not so much. Two days later, after a lengthy, painful headache and not being her responsive and aware self a brain hemorrhage was found. It was too late to do anything that would preserve any kind of quality life that she would have wanted. It was over on April 11, 2013, and not even a week removed from her father passing. And from something that seems completely unrelated to all the previous issues she so strongly, courageously and inspirationally fought off.
It's just over three weeks later and I'm still trying to make sense of everything. So many different feelings and emotions. Not to mention that I'm left to raise our now 3 year old daughter without her. Life will never be the same. This isn't the way it was supposed to be. It doesn't seem fair. We had so much left to do together, as a family. I would give up a whole lot to have one normal day with her. I spent all but a handful of days of this very lengthy ordeal at the hospital with her. We hadn't had a 'normal' day in four months. She had a trachea tube in for most of the time too so we hadn't even had a 'normal' converation in many months. I know this is all still extremely fresh and that over time this will get easier but things will never be as they were, and that sucks. I'm grateful to have our daughter to keep pushing me forward and keep a smile on my face. And my support network of family and friends is extremely large, loving and helpful. All of this will help me get through this but it's not the same. I want to see her, hold her, talk to her...and I'll never do that again. I can only hope that eventually the pain eases and that I raise our daughter in a way that she would have wanted and makes her proud.
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