Our marriage
Interesting how things are developing for Cole and I since DDAY and the changes in our marriage.
What I have been noticing lately is how we are coming together in so many different areas. Yes, we are more affectionate and have a lot more sex than we did before and we spend waaaay more time together. We are more focused on each other. He is working with me when I need help. We swim together almost every night of the week except weekends. We grocery shop together. Everytime he goes to church I do my best to go too instead of only on Sun. I call him when I am driving between jobs and we sometimes text during the day. We are just working together better on things like dealing with family problems and making family decisions.
There are other things that he does with me now that I would have previously done by myself, such as taking a kid to the ER or sometimes just running errands. All things that I would have never expected to happen. Our lives were just so separate before. (OH, speaking of the ER, our 23 year old son was hit by a car yesterday. He was on his bike. They took him an hour away to a trauma hospital but he was home by evening. His helmet saved him. No broken bones or internal damage. Just a very beat up young man.)
One thing that is the most surprising is that we are coming together financially. Our finances have always been separate. 2 different banks and we each had our own things we were responsible for. He has been on unemployment for almost a year now and we are making big changes in the way we operate financially. I won't try to explain the way I have been about money but my attitude has changed dramatically and we are doing a complete overhaul in how we operate financially. I have stopped worrying about money almost completely because God made it very clear to me that I am to stop worrying entirely about money and leave it up to Him and my H. He made it clear and He has helped me to do it. THIS is EXTRAORDINARY. A HUGE HUGE change in me.
It weird, we are not who we were before. I am not who I was before. It is no wonder recovery from A takes so very long....rebuilding what was destroyed. Remaking yourself and your marriage. I still hurt a lot....a LOT. I still cry almost daily during my times of prayer and reflection. I have no idea how long it will take for me to feel comfortable with where I am within myself. I'm not sure I even want that. Comfortable. Hmmmm. Sounds dangerous. Like.....complacent.....like I was before. No no no. I need to strive forward. IDK, it scares me to hear of people who had an A and then years later it happens again. That fear is something I am contending with now. Guess that's why comfortable sounds dangerous because diligence is more what I feel is called for. Permanent diligence and not taking anyone or anything for granted.
What I have been noticing lately is how we are coming together in so many different areas. Yes, we are more affectionate and have a lot more sex than we did before and we spend waaaay more time together. We are more focused on each other. He is working with me when I need help. We swim together almost every night of the week except weekends. We grocery shop together. Everytime he goes to church I do my best to go too instead of only on Sun. I call him when I am driving between jobs and we sometimes text during the day. We are just working together better on things like dealing with family problems and making family decisions.
There are other things that he does with me now that I would have previously done by myself, such as taking a kid to the ER or sometimes just running errands. All things that I would have never expected to happen. Our lives were just so separate before. (OH, speaking of the ER, our 23 year old son was hit by a car yesterday. He was on his bike. They took him an hour away to a trauma hospital but he was home by evening. His helmet saved him. No broken bones or internal damage. Just a very beat up young man.)
One thing that is the most surprising is that we are coming together financially. Our finances have always been separate. 2 different banks and we each had our own things we were responsible for. He has been on unemployment for almost a year now and we are making big changes in the way we operate financially. I won't try to explain the way I have been about money but my attitude has changed dramatically and we are doing a complete overhaul in how we operate financially. I have stopped worrying about money almost completely because God made it very clear to me that I am to stop worrying entirely about money and leave it up to Him and my H. He made it clear and He has helped me to do it. THIS is EXTRAORDINARY. A HUGE HUGE change in me.
It weird, we are not who we were before. I am not who I was before. It is no wonder recovery from A takes so very long....rebuilding what was destroyed. Remaking yourself and your marriage. I still hurt a lot....a LOT. I still cry almost daily during my times of prayer and reflection. I have no idea how long it will take for me to feel comfortable with where I am within myself. I'm not sure I even want that. Comfortable. Hmmmm. Sounds dangerous. Like.....complacent.....like I was before. No no no. I need to strive forward. IDK, it scares me to hear of people who had an A and then years later it happens again. That fear is something I am contending with now. Guess that's why comfortable sounds dangerous because diligence is more what I feel is called for. Permanent diligence and not taking anyone or anything for granted.
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