Our Anniversary
Today is our 19th anniversary. We are in the middle of a divorce as she sent me an email September 15th telling me she doesn't love me anymore. We live in the same house and have teen girls. I hardly saw her today. Nineteen years ago today was the happiest day of my life. I remember it vividly. Today is one of the saddest.
Did she even think about me/us today? Does she remember the day we married? Did she cry today too? I really don't think so.
I am learning my part in the failure of our marriage and will always regret it. Does she ever think about that? No. It's all my fault and she was just reacting to me. That's not true or fair. We failed each other.
I hope someday she realizes that as well. What a terrible day.
Replies
I'm so sorry and I know it hurts. Not much I can offer is a williness to chat and hugs.
She remembers. I'm so sorry. Lots of positive thoughts and hope to you!
Thank you encouraging me to think right now on places where I went wrong too.
Many of us have regrets for what we didnt
Know how to do, why we didnt do better, why
we did not stand Up for ourselves more, why
we did we not confront issues and problems
when it would Have been smarter and healthier
and less hurtful in the Long run.
I am sorry for your pain on your anniversary, the
whole Process start to finish is brutally hard. I keep
working on Myself and trying to heal. Thats the best
I can do to get Better.
My ex has no remorse or concern for me, He has moved
on and i was holding him back. He is in his glory except
Financially.
You are doing good Crushed its a long hard road and we
Need to keep our maturity to keep sane. I can not have
Imagined living with him once those words were uttered
And he had a GF awaiting. HUGS
I'm very sorry crushed. I wish there were words to make this better for you. Just know you have our support. You got through the day and you will get through the next one and the next one and you will come out stronger and better for it all in the end, even though that is impossible to see right now.
Hope you are feeling better today. Sorry I didn't see this until now. You are feeling like I did the other day, so angry and overthinking all that has happened, but stop putting the blame all on yourself. She does care, she does think about it she just has a good poker face. The distance will only help you get stronger day by day.
I hate to tell you this and I apologize in advance if it comes across as harsh. It doesn't matter whose fault it was, it doesn't matter what she thinks, or even how you feel. You have to accept that this is over and that you are now party to a lawsuit. A divorce is just that, a lawsuit. I hope you have a lawyer and that you are working closely with him/her, because this is very serious, as all lawsuits are, and you need to proceed carefully.
Now is not the time for heartache, I am sorry. Believe me I sympathize with you but nothing good can come from your sorrow right now. Instead you need to protect yourself and do the right thing under the law to secure your rights. Move this process forward and get the best terms for yourself you possibly can. Never forget that she is suing you, because that's how you get a divorce in America. Document everything. Journal every day. And get a good atttorney.
I'm very sorry you are going through this. You will be ok, even if it doesn't seem like it sometimes.
Ok that was harsh and I do apologize. It's just that you seem like a good and decent guy trying to do the right thing and I hate to see someone like you getting the shaft. It doesn't seem like your wife is willing to fight for your marriage and I just urge you to protect yourself. Most people don't know that divorces are lawsuits but when you understand that then you are in a better position to defend yourself. I'm sorry you are going through this.
Sorry for your pain. I know this all to well. My 19th anniversary she was spending time at the ball diamond with her affair partner! While I sat at home waiting to have our anniversary dinner. She didn't come home until 9 that night. I'd had suspicions before this but this is when I really started to question things. She brushed me off on our anniversary. We spent every one prior together. Married 19 years together for 22 years. I knew something was off.