Today is our 16th wedding anniversary! Wow, 16 years. That is such a long time to be with one person. We have had our ups and downs but nothing like this year. We are also 2 months post D-Day. That tends to put a damper on the normal celebration feelings. I am not exactly sure how to feel today. Should I be happy? Sad? I feel mostly happy but still a little sad too. He started the day out good though. He gave me a dozen beautiful, yellow with red tip roses. They are my absolute favorite! It meant more to me than 2 dozen red ones would have. He gave me a card that simply said that he loved me and would forever be true to me. My H put a new ring on my finger this morning and told me that he loves me and will never hurt me again. It was wonderful and heartfelt but also bittersweet. This is a new beginning for us. I put a new ring on his finger also and told him I loved him and may it remind him everyday that I am here with him. We are retiring our original wedding rings. I do have mixed emotions about this. I do love him deeply but I am afraid of being hurt again. I am deciding to come down off the fence and put my heart back into my marriage. It does not mean that I won't still have pain and heartache but I CHOOSE to be here. I know that the road is still long and hard to recovery. I know we can do this! We are recommitting ourselves to each other this year and will renew our vows on our 17th anniversary. We are already making plans for it. I am hoping and praying our love for each other can overcome this. I pray that 2010 will be a better year for us!