OUCH! That is all I can say!!
So Tony and I , the fucktard that I can't seem to fall out of love with, called me this morning. We stay in touch still almost daily, emails, texts, etc... just talk about family and current events, etc... but he never lets me get too far away. Keeping my little bit of hope alive and making sure he has a fall back plan, I believe! Anyway, my phone rings on my drive to work and it is him. Not to rehash the whole story but we were so "in love" or at least I thought so. We talked about marriage and a future together and even picked out a home from the lot up and went through the whole experience together him leading me to believe the entire time it would be our home. I put money, blood sweat and tears into building a home for us. I did a damn good job too. It is wonderful! Set up perfectly for us. I even put shelf paper in the cabinets and hung (and bought the shower curtians). We didn't live together because I had kids and I didn't want to uproot them until I was sure we were commited to trying to have a life together. He said it was answers like that that made him love and respect me, that I put my children first! He asked a second time after we had our problems when I was having financial trouble saying he hoped our love would grow if we lived together, still I thought better of it because of the kids! So I declined and said we should wait until it was for the right reasons and he wanted to become a family not that he hoped it could happen. We broke up in July when I found him cheating on me. He let booty call girl satisfy his needs for another month or less still trying to see me too. I refused! In late August, early Sept. he started seein a new girl with two kids (this man is OCD about his stuff and very selfish!). He said she had a 14 yr old girl who was wild and a lot of trouble and a 12 yr old autistic boy who was quite hyper. I wished him well knowing he could never deal with such instability as fathering two difficult children. He often told me how he was worried he couldn't be a good Dad to my two and often commented on how perfect they were (I have great kids). He still sends them things and told my daughter just last week he loved her.Anyway, the call today was to tell me that this lady can't afford to live on her own (she is 48) and so he has asked her and the kids to move in (into "our" home, the one I worked so hard on). I am trying not to get bitter but How dare him let another woman who can't even take care of herself and her own children reap the rewards of my hard work and money! WOW! I played it very cool. I said you know moving in together for financial reasons is not a good way to start off a long term relationship. He said I know but she needs me. Is that the problem. Men only want needy women to make them feel like they are superior and the man, the big provider!? I want a partner not a Daddy. You would think a real man would want a self sufficient woman, not a dependent? I made three times what he makes, I know it bothered him and his ego but I shared with him, he enjoyed the benifits, I pratically furnished the house he will now share with her! I try hard to get past that but it is soooo not right!! Why don't I deserve to enjoy my efforts? I know I have to just let it go but damn!!!! Ouch, my heart hurts so badly!! I feel like I am being punished for being a strong, self sufficient woman. He has a history of short lived, live in relationships because he can control them, he has something on them, I guess I should just consider it more of the same. We had almost two years together, a record for him! I am still close with his family. Get this the new girl has not even met his family nor has he even mentioned her name to any of them and yet he is planning on making a life with her and her children?I just feel sick to my stomach. I was strong on the phone, no tears. Told him I wished him well and good luck with two teenagers he doesn't even know, respecting him and respecting the way he requires his house to be kept! Again he is very OCD and doesn't like anyone to touch his stuff. He has a pool table and every viedo gaming system known to man! Can't wear your shoes in the house or come in without washing your feet if you have been barefooted! Can't cook on his glass stove top, you may scratch it. He micro manages everything and everyone! I feel sorry for the kids! There Mom should have more sense than to uproot them and move them into a strange mans house after just a couple of months of playing! He said he has only met them once! Selfish on both his and her parts in my opinion! I think he will take rent from her and make her pay for groceries, etc... I know him. I also think it makes him feel like a "good man" to help out a poor down and out woman, makes him feel superior. With me he had met his equal at the very least. That scared the crap out of him! After our lengthy conversation, he says. If this doesn't work out I will call you and we can take another shot at it. WTF!! I said no thanks. I love you and will forever but I deserve to be someones first choice not consolation prize! Ripped my heart out. He also said he loved me and that I deserved better and that is why God protected me from him. I said whatever gets you through the night! I stayed on the high road but I wanted to burn his house down! I am not vengeful but damn! I so want to take some sort of revenge and fuck his new little perfect life up! I hold onto knowing what living with teenages is like! They will fuck all his stuff up and I don't see this lasting ling so I guess he will get what he has coming. I pray he tries to come back to me after this! I will turn him down flat!! Oh and BTW I am going to pick up a bunch of my stuff from his house this weekend. Unless she has furniture, guess he will have to spend money or sit on the floor, he hates spending money!!Pray for me. I am in such pain and trying not to cry at work!!!