Other People's Money
The scheduled visitation pick up is less than 3 days away. With their lawsuit yaddahs still an antagonistic mystery between us, I find myself innundated with flashbacks to the "Other People's Money" dreams and schemes that were the foundation of my financial planning education. My mother was borrowing money from me while I was still in elementary school collecting soda bottles from the roadsides. By the time I was old enough to get the big bucks for lawn mowing and babysitting, I was quite solidly one of "The Other People" my mother used to solve her problems. As I gained the perspectives which allowed me to add context to her never-ending prattle on how perfect she would be "If I had *their* money," I was already feeling like one of the Money Them far more than a member of her beleagured *us.* Cut to the chase, Mother. How much do you need this time? As the younger siblings grew into their adolescant needs, coming to me for lunch money was far more normal than going to Mother. The elder sibs were already out of my price range. Sorry, Charlie. I ain't your Uncle Sam. Go ahead and tear up my drawers again looking for it. I'm small and young, not stupid. Ya arenae gonna find it. Ya gotta catch me before you can ply torture tactics. I'm already 3 miles down the watershed.
The flashback sequence feels rather amusing this time around. Am I guilty of body shaming as my son's morbidly obese in-laws take the place of my four older siblings in those chases through the watershed? I can't seem to resist a giggle as I imagine them rolling down the hillsides.
Yes, in-laws of my departed son. All of your problems would just disappear if you had my money, just like they did for my Mommy Dearest. Is it possible I saved more money out of collecting soda bottles than my mother did for her 87 years of coveting other people's money?
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Envy of Other People's Money drove my parents' lives so much that after 30 years they were driven out of the ministry in a financial church fraud scandal similar to that of their buddies Rev. Jim and Tammy Fae Bakker of PTL tv fame, Did they stop there? Not a chance. By then an uncle of mine had bought a run down motel the interstate had by passed and turned it into a nursing home. He made millions off of Medicare, and eventually gave his sister, my mother, 2 news ones to manage for him.
That's how they went from church fraud to scamming old folks and bought their Cadillac and their nice two story house in the suburbs. Still, when they got Other People's Money they were the same miserable creeps they'd always been. It didn't make them happy nor did it make them stop trying to ruin Other People's Happiness, their main hobby in life.
Meanwhile, they lavished church money and later on Medicare money on my little sister. But since my mom had unresolved issues with her abusive dad and hated men--her husband and me, her son, included--by the age of 9 she wouldn't let me live in the house with the family. My sister got the princess bedroom next to hers As a 9 year old I was out in a room out over the garage. I wore used clothes she got at Goodwill while my sister got the finest outfits. I went to a run down college while my sister was sent to a fancy university, and on and on it went with the same theme.
By punishing me with solitary confinement, though, my mother's scheme backfired. It made me independent instead of codependent like her and my sister. I got a paper route when I was 13 and sent myself to summer camp at my own expense, since she wouldn't spend the money for it on me herself. And on and on, I paid my way through school to a doctorate on a Fulbright scholarship.
The last time I saw my sister she laughed in my face that she was going to get my half of the inheritance from that house. I said tell me something I don't know. I didn't need Other People's Money. Still don't. I'm here in Mexico to arrange to retire in a year where I can afford retirement with independence.