optimistic

So many of my posts have been very optimistic, but not all.  Right now, I am holding right in the middle.  I want to move forward, but life is not letting me.  I do have the apropriate actions in motion.  I am hoping on some external help(I do have some external help working for me), I have done all I can except for my exercising.  Now it is all just sit around and wait.  That gets frustrating.  I use meditation to calm myself down, I have for decades.  Half of my life.  Just calm down.