Optimism?
So, I am very cautious about saying, I have had a couple of very good days. I have done some things, that normally I would skip, and I have had fun doing them.
On Wednesday night I took my kids to a Halloween party at my school. All by myself. It was great! The kids listened well, the girls were helpful with their little brother and we all had a great time! I was anxious before we left, but I tried to keep it low. Concentrating on what I needed to take with me, I wrote a post on here, I talked to a couple of people, but while I was there, no anxiety at all! And none when we came back home either.
Thursday was Trick or Treat, it was raining, but I really wanted the kids to have the experience and they were so looking forward to it. A friend of mine and I had made plans to go (2 adults and 8 kids!!) so we slipped out in between raindrops. We didn't get really far, but we did walk and do uphill etc, and it was good. We had a great time. I didn't have a heart attack! I walked and was fine, nothing happened to me.
I am scared to be optimistic about it though, like the other shoe will drop, but I am so proud of what I accomplished. Mostly I am happy that I was able to let my kids have those experiences, I feel like my limitations make them miss out on so much. And with the holidays coming, there are a lot more of these types of things and now I have hope that I will be able to let them enjoy even more things, even if I have to do it with just the kids and I.
Normally, I hate this time of year. I usually think bad things happen around this time of year, my finances are screwed up, my husband and I have a difficult time. Although I try to put on a good face for the kids, I am often just waiting for Oct-Jan to be over. And now, I am actually looking forward to it...a little.
On Wednesday night I took my kids to a Halloween party at my school. All by myself. It was great! The kids listened well, the girls were helpful with their little brother and we all had a great time! I was anxious before we left, but I tried to keep it low. Concentrating on what I needed to take with me, I wrote a post on here, I talked to a couple of people, but while I was there, no anxiety at all! And none when we came back home either.
Thursday was Trick or Treat, it was raining, but I really wanted the kids to have the experience and they were so looking forward to it. A friend of mine and I had made plans to go (2 adults and 8 kids!!) so we slipped out in between raindrops. We didn't get really far, but we did walk and do uphill etc, and it was good. We had a great time. I didn't have a heart attack! I walked and was fine, nothing happened to me.
I am scared to be optimistic about it though, like the other shoe will drop, but I am so proud of what I accomplished. Mostly I am happy that I was able to let my kids have those experiences, I feel like my limitations make them miss out on so much. And with the holidays coming, there are a lot more of these types of things and now I have hope that I will be able to let them enjoy even more things, even if I have to do it with just the kids and I.
Normally, I hate this time of year. I usually think bad things happen around this time of year, my finances are screwed up, my husband and I have a difficult time. Although I try to put on a good face for the kids, I am often just waiting for Oct-Jan to be over. And now, I am actually looking forward to it...a little.
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