Open Heart Surgery
Why doesn't anything ever change in this life..? Why does everything just repeat itself.. I'm a strong person, but i'm tired of getting hurt too you know.. I feel like i'm slowly weaving a circle and if i don't just burn everything it won't end. I'm too nice, caring and trusting. It's destroying me. I just wanna beat someone. A certain someone. But I still love him too much. I'm such a mixed up individual. I don't know what I need anymore. I just want someone to take everything away. I wish I had the perfect person, no. You know what. I do have the fucking person now. I don't need what I use to fucking have. He fucking screwed me over, and this will totally be fucked up of me and Karma will get me for saying this, but I hope he gets screwed over and hurt just as bad, because that's how Karma works. I don't know why I try to be so nice and caring. I don't know why I insist on being there for everyone, or at least try to be. I don't know why I try to be friends with someone who I half hate and still have love. It's just the insufferable, caring, pitiful human that is me. I wish to change the world with that person.
Replies
And you can. I know what it\'s like to care for someone and get stepped on. I know what it\'s like to feel like you\'re a pillar holding the roof of a huge place up...people lean on you because they know you care and you get nothing back. The only thing I can promise you is that it gets better. You have to learn to look out for yourself and take time out for you...learn who is WORTH supporting and who isn\'t. Don\'t stop being that loving and caring person- but don\'t ever forget that sometimes you need a little support, too.
U kno, I always try my hardest to be good and nice to everyone, even when i am hurt really bad...but i just prefer being hurt to hurting someone...i say just walk away from those who dont respect u...or dont treat u right...recently someone i have been doing my best to be there for has removed me from their friend list...it really hurt me, especially with all what they did to me, but at least i kno that i didnt do anythin wrong, and if i ever did i apologized sincerely... i say walk away without hurting anyone and karama will get them for u....
Thanks you guys. That means alot. I\'m slowly realizing that. I\'ve always kinda let myself get stepped on cause i\'ve always wanted to help people TOO much and there for people TOO much. I have to learn to take myself into consideration also. Just something I have to learn along the way.