oopsie
guess kinda lost it today. havent seen her in a week. so was quiet today cause guess im trying distance myself so she says why so quiet. umm hello i said i miss u so she says i actuallly miss u too. went back forth said she wanted come over. she then made comment about me contacting her on a dating site so i got pissed cause she is on there but guess what i am too. so why am i mad. she said she just on there to find friends someone to hang with on her days off. so i said guess im not good enough to hang with like a child. so she got pissed and said forget it just wanted someone during the days. and i said bullshit you havent wanted see me for weeks so of course i feel this way. so now she not talking so i finally blew up said i have every right to be upset sick of making pretend i dont miss her and im not said cause guess what i am. so the child is not speaking to me now cause god forbid we discuss our feelings. i said im jealous which hello i am. she dont want me and i need to come to terms with this cause its effecting my whole world.
Replies
*sigh.
So... you\'re still banging your head against the wall. Bleeding yet?
Honey.. for God\'s sake. You are miserable with her..and miserable without her.. so. The dice is rolled.. you are more likely to find a way to happiness if you can move on.. without her.
I know you won\'t listen to me. This your heart and your journey...but again,. I really am looking forward to seeing a picture of you or a journal entry from the side of contentment. I\'ll hang out.. cringe and moan while you get there I guess. You, afterall, are choosing this path.
yes still banging the head back and forth but little less hard than i used to.