Only you can make yourself feel inferior
I am in a funk today...
I am in that place where my heart hurts... I cried all weekend, I feel drained, exhausted... empty.
I was a stupid, stupid girl...
I walked back into my relationship that I walked away from eight months ago. He came to me with promises of change, even made those changes... and they lasted all of two weeks, and now its been four months of being together and we are back to where we were.
Only this weekend... I think I realized how little he truly does care. I realized that I am only there for him, his needs, and making him feel better about himself.
When I comfronted him about this, and him not putting any effort into me.. he blew up at me and turned it around to what all I dont do for him and how I never make him feel loved. It really hurt, because this time, I did everything he said I didnt do and more... I went above and beyond. I realized he will never love me for me, and I feel hurt, crushed... and yes, inferior.
The thing was... I was scared he was going to leave me. I dont want to be that girl... who stays with a man just to have someone there... who went back into a relationship I knew would never work, with hope... only to find out it was worse than I thought....he never cared. He doesnt care... and does not plan on doing anything to show he does.
I feel done... its just a matter now of getting that courage to get gone, and stay gone... I just feel so hurt and alone right now...
I am in that place where my heart hurts... I cried all weekend, I feel drained, exhausted... empty.
I was a stupid, stupid girl...
I walked back into my relationship that I walked away from eight months ago. He came to me with promises of change, even made those changes... and they lasted all of two weeks, and now its been four months of being together and we are back to where we were.
Only this weekend... I think I realized how little he truly does care. I realized that I am only there for him, his needs, and making him feel better about himself.
When I comfronted him about this, and him not putting any effort into me.. he blew up at me and turned it around to what all I dont do for him and how I never make him feel loved. It really hurt, because this time, I did everything he said I didnt do and more... I went above and beyond. I realized he will never love me for me, and I feel hurt, crushed... and yes, inferior.
The thing was... I was scared he was going to leave me. I dont want to be that girl... who stays with a man just to have someone there... who went back into a relationship I knew would never work, with hope... only to find out it was worse than I thought....he never cared. He doesnt care... and does not plan on doing anything to show he does.
I feel done... its just a matter now of getting that courage to get gone, and stay gone... I just feel so hurt and alone right now...
Replies
Consider another viewpoint.
There are millions of types of people out there, offering their own unique type of Love. Not ALL Love is meant to be in our lives; because not all Love is Right For Us.
Please keep in mind that He does care; - in his own way - but it\'s not the kind of love that flows back and forth; that nutures and gives joy and peace. He may not have arrived in a place in life where he\'s learned what Love really is. He hasn\'t grown and realized yet that his Love is self gratifying. This is HIS journey; and he will have to move on in his life and learn what the true dimension of love is.
You have been blessed!!! You have a clear, honest, real view on what love should consist of. You are no less a person because you gave it \'one more shot\'. Hell no Sister! You are actually stronger, better and wiser now. Use this strength and insight to close this chapter of life and move on with total PRIDE in what you\'ve learned; and allow Faith to guide you forward in your new knowledge of what you want in life :O)
Instead of dwelling on how awful the lesson was; take this valuable lesson with you and make the life you want and are ready for :O) This is Your Journey, and what You were Meant To Learn. Congrats!! You learned it!!! :O)
((long hug))