Only one day after IUI and I have the blues....

I am having such a hard time visualizing myself pregnant and with a child.  Is that because I have waited so long to want a child of my own?  My last cycle I gave over to believing I was pregnant.  I wanted to stay positive and strong, but when my AF arrived, I still kind of expected it (Symptoms of PMS were obvious !).  So now I worry and stress over stressing!!! I have to laugh at myself and the vicious cycle I put myself into!  I know the best thing to do is to just relax.  But how the hell am I, or any of us, suppose to relax when during the 2ww, I know I'm going to be so focused on how my body feels and reacts!  My DH who is so supportive, said he just puts it out of his mind.  I told him I wish I could, but everything I do, everything I eat, how much sleep I get, my moods; I become so aware of it all!!  I feel that this is so out of my control, and maybe that's the point.  Take care of all I am able to, and learn to accept those things I can not control and just let it go....    I am trying to get lost in my job, but with all the doctor appointments its been hard to do that.  But now, with the 2ww I have no appointments, or anything to distract me.  I work with people with Mental Health diagnosis.  Funny thing is, I wonder about my own sanity through this.  The other thing I am concerned about is if or when I do have a child, am I going to be one of those over protective or controling Mothers???  Life is so fragile!  I appreciate every minute of it, even the bad or hard times!  they are all just experiences that pass by us and have a different reaction and response from each of us.  I think I'm taking things too seriously!  And not seeing the journey for what it is.  My favorite quote, I don't remember it exactly, but Victor Frankl wrote that Mans ultimate freedom is his ability to choose his own perspective in any situation...I just have to keep remembering this!