Only a Dream
Last night I had a dream that I slipped. I was at the casino, trying to put more money into a machine, searching through my purse, and knowing I would have to get up and go to the ATM. It was a terrible feeling. I felt so disgusted with myself. I felt like I knew it was wrong, stupid, and self-destructive, but was still powerless not to follow through on it....I was thinking about having to come to daily strength and tell everyone I slipped, and feeling utterly dismayed and embarrassed. I was thinking about not telling, and losing this place of total honesty....back to living a life of lying and covering up..... When I woke up, it was almost as if it had really happened. I still feel kind of sick inside about it!!!! I am so grateful it was only a dream! I am grateful that still, just for today, I will not gamble. I can't even imagine how terrible life would become if I ever began to gamble again.With the help of the wonderful people at this site, each day I continue to rebuild a life of hope, honesty, and self-respect. Thank you all, from the bottom of my heart.....Love, Dianne
Replies
Oh, you had one of those dreams! Yuck, I know what you mean, I\'ve had them before, they\'re awful! But they\'re reminders, for sure! Reminders where we use to be, reminders of our past. Those dreams are weird. I had one a long time ago, but it seemed so real to me I can still remember the details. In the dream I knew I was doing something I didn\'t want to do, gambling! Even in the dream I knew it wasn\'t where I wanted to be. It was weird,though, I was playing nickels! That wasn\'t me, I never played nickels...but in the dream I was, and my dad was there, in my dream, when in reality he was dead. Dianne, it was just a dream, you\'re okay. It could happen again, to you or to me, the dreams are something I\'ve heard a lot of compulsive gamblers talk about at meetings. Sometimes they even happen years and years after quitting. Just dreams, reminders. I hope tonight you have a beautiful, recovery dream...me, too. Take care, Lots of Love, Robin
I hate that sort of dream. When I had my last one I even checked my check book to make sure it was only a dream. It was so real. I felt terrible for days. You\'re OK it was just a dream. It brought back those awful feelings to remind you whay you stopped gambling. Hopefully you will be able to get some rest. Peace and Love. Patty
A dream to remind you of what used to be. I am sure it has rattled you a little, it would me also. But be thankful it was just a dream, and you don\'t have to live the reality of what would happen if you really dad returned to the casino.
I\'m with you on how DS and all the people here have been my lifeline. Thanks to you Diane, and to all the rest for all you have done.
Thank goodness for dreams like this ! I know they are horrible but at least we can work out the feelings and emotions in the unconscious. It is better than reality.
It is a \"wake up\" call too. Yes at times we have the pull to gamble - you have discovered such an inner strength over the last 7 months and you should be so proud. I am proud of you.
Hugs and love to you today Suzi
WHEW!!! what a relief to have woken up hugh?
I am so glad for you that it was just a dream. suzi is right...... you have found a great inner strength.... i am proud of you too.
Just a dream is wrong, that\'s a freaking nightmare. LOL I am so glad it was just that. But they are so real and detailed, I have had them before. but what a great feeling to realize you didn\'t slip. You rock girl. And thank you for all your support.
x0x0x0x\'s
Tessa
I remember those dreams well. I still have them the odd time. That wake up sick to your tummy ones. I use to dream I was stealing all my money back after those ones. They refer to them as dry dreams in AA.
The funniest comment at a meeting was someone who was talking about those dreams. They said one night at a meeting \" I had a normal dream last night, It was so nice to have a wet dream for a change \"
LOLLLLLLLL
A recovery meeting funny.
Love ya,
Hugs
Kimber
Dianne, I wish I had at least one dream like that every week, well I might but I never remember mine when I wake up. I know about half way through my last slip I keep praying it was a dream and I would wake up. I need a constant reminder of what will happen if I go back to that way of life.
I remember those dreams!! It feels so real, you could hear the machines, touch the spin dial and feel the anxiety waiting for the reels to stop...thank goodness it\'s only a dream!
Stay strong!
Hugs