Only a Dream

Last night I had a dream that I slipped.  I was at the casino, trying to put more money into a machine, searching through my purse, and knowing I would have to get up and go to the ATM.  It was a terrible feeling.  I felt so disgusted with myself.  I felt like I knew it was wrong, stupid, and self-destructive, but was still powerless not to follow through on it....I was thinking about having to come to daily strength and tell everyone I slipped, and feeling utterly dismayed and embarrassed.  I was thinking about not telling, and losing this place of total honesty....back to living a life of lying and covering up..... When I woke up, it was almost as if it had really happened.  I still feel kind of sick inside about it!!!!  I am so grateful it was only a dream!  I am grateful that still, just for today, I will not gamble.  I can't even imagine how terrible life would become if I ever began to gamble again.With the help of the wonderful people at this site, each day I continue to rebuild a life of hope, honesty, and self-respect. Thank you all, from the bottom of my heart.....Love, Dianne