Only a couple more hours to go...
Well the day is almost here the day that has been circled on my calander since the day he walked or should I say RAN out the door. My Wedding anniversary is just a few hours away and I feel sick to my stomache. All the progress I have made over the past few weeks seems all gone now. I am back in my bed just crying my eyes out. I waited for my little boy to fall a sleep then I fell apart. I just want March 9th to be over right now, A day that used to bring me so much joy, love, happiness, and a pure sense of accomplishment is now a day I just want to sleep through. All my friends just want to take me out and have some dinner and drinks I know their hearts are in the right place but I don't want to be anywhere there are happy " In love couples" eating spaghetti from opposite ends and meeting in the middle!!! I mean really....
I know God has blessed me with wonderful, loving, caring, supportive friends and family but hearing things like "Your doing great T" and "Getting stonger everyday T" oh and my favorite" You'll be FINE YOU'LL SEE ONE DAY YOU WILL THANK HIM" Thank him for what????This truly boggles my mind. What exactly am I thanking him for? Thanks for the hurt and despair I now feel every night? Thanks for ever growing lonely nights I now have to look forward to every night? Thanks for what all the stress and crying has done to the skin on my face? Thanks for the DEBT u freaking stuck me with??? What will I be thanking him for can anyone clear this up for me???? We were going to go to Vegas for our anniversary this year just a little weekend trip now the only place I will be going is to the store to buy laundry soap for the what seems like 20 loads of laundry I will have this weekend. I wish it was March 10th and I didn't have to face the day tomorrow. March 9th was always one of the best days of my life and now it's just sad, I'm sad.......
I know God has blessed me with wonderful, loving, caring, supportive friends and family but hearing things like "Your doing great T" and "Getting stonger everyday T" oh and my favorite" You'll be FINE YOU'LL SEE ONE DAY YOU WILL THANK HIM" Thank him for what????This truly boggles my mind. What exactly am I thanking him for? Thanks for the hurt and despair I now feel every night? Thanks for ever growing lonely nights I now have to look forward to every night? Thanks for what all the stress and crying has done to the skin on my face? Thanks for the DEBT u freaking stuck me with??? What will I be thanking him for can anyone clear this up for me???? We were going to go to Vegas for our anniversary this year just a little weekend trip now the only place I will be going is to the store to buy laundry soap for the what seems like 20 loads of laundry I will have this weekend. I wish it was March 10th and I didn't have to face the day tomorrow. March 9th was always one of the best days of my life and now it's just sad, I'm sad.......
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