Ongoing Holiday Confusions

I never did get "holiday spirit." Father's Day is the spirit I am not getting today. My husband is in Houston paying homage to his father. I am giving him space to work through his family issues without my interference.  I was raised that holidays are just another excuse for drunkenness and rape. As a young adult, I mostly ignored them, along with the issues behind them. At 25 I married into a Hallmark family, run by veterans of the art. I have proven to be a mad cow in a highbrow mall at the Hallmark Holidays. Can't seem to get 20 feet without breaking something. No ill will intended. Just not my talent. I just stay out of it and leave it to The Masters. There was allot of bloody warfare before that compromise was reached. For my husband, two sons and I,  that compromise has been a peaceful solution for over 20 years.
The Holiday Masters are in their mid-80s. One of them can't even go to the toilet without professional assistance. Fortunately, they can afford pro wages, so again, I stay out of it and leave it to The Masters. Pros, masters... Same diff. 
Except...
Both of those sons seem to be making moves toward starting families of their own and seem to be looking for clarity I don't have to offer.
Is it delusional to think the break in the generational traditions might free them up to start their own traditions? Or am I deferring responsibility to get us out of a tough corner?