One Year DS Anniversary

   I joined DS a year ago today..wow, what a year. Friends have come and gone, but the continued support here just amazes me. May 28th, 2008 I was broken - a shell of a man, totally out of the norm for me. I have lurked here, watched, listened, hugged, read and shared very personal information and experiences with sometimes total cyber strangers only to be lifted, supported and guided through a tragic, heartbreaking experience.     I have gathered so much information, put it into persepctive and realize that changing cities, countries, jobs, or partners can't change what I am, that change can only come from within, from deep searching and redirection of values and behaviors. I realize that a physical move will not work a spiritual change... I do not trust in the delusion that a new relationship can transform myself that has developed slowly over my whole life. I own the choices I have made, and can see results. I am still a bit dissatisified with how I'm doing, but do feel the need for continued change, and recognize that hard work will be involved, hard choices and pain. Feeling the need is almost painful in itself. I'm ready for hard choices, and much of the work is already going on, deep within.     Only a little more spiritual housecleaning, absolute honesty about motives, and I will accomplish what I seek to change. Wherever I am, in the twisting road of my life, is where I'm meant to be.    Thank You kind folk for your support throughout the past year.. a blessing each of you have been. Many of you have deeply touched me.... you will just never know.....