One Year

Today wasn't a good day for me. I did go out to the cematary today to clean Justin's headstone its been raining here alot.I put lilly's and 2 rabbits on both sides.I 've had aniexty all day.I've been very lonely today.This is the last day justin was alive it's bringing me to my knees.Tommrow will be worse. my husband said last night that this day will come every year. you just have to face it. I know I have to but he's in my every thought.MY SON IS DEAD no going back but just a memory now.He was my first child I fell in love with him when I looked into his eyes and I said God I will take good care of him.I must of been a failure to God I didn't know how to help him taking pain medicine we talked and he said he was fine.I just feel that he had to do drugs to be happy. HE WAS MY ANGEL I was so proud of him he may of not had anything but he had the BIGGEST HEART He would call late at night crying.Always asking how do I do this.I'm taking care of my Dad ,Alicia and Braden and there's not enough money to go around.Alicia was going to college so he paid her way and when she got done with school she left.Thats the only girl Justin loved in this world.I could tell he was hurting bad he begged her back.Then came the partying going to bars his life was a wreck it's almost like he gave up.He would get Braden every other weekend and thats another big story.If you could take a second of your busy life and say a prayer for me tommorow.I really need it. I love everyone here without you all I would'nt be here.Love to all,jfm24,VICKI