One step forward and two back

So I took a another step forward as I finally received a call for an interview of sorts...
It started when for the first time I was asked for an emergency contact on an application and I automatically started writing your name Pete. I caught myself half way through your phone number and just started crying. I couldn't picture anyone I would want contacted if I was injured or sick other than you. It took some time to readjust but I forged on.
Then it became a funny when they wanted high school transcripts. My records are archived being that I graduated years ago. The word 'archived' made me feel so old! The school no longer stands and the records were created before there were things such as computers. Oh my, do I feel so old. Grieving has made me tired, scared, alone, and old. And now life is making me feel the same. 
Missing you and all we did together is hard enough. I thought about coming home to tell you all about the experience and you aren't there laughing and telling me I am only as old as I act, so lets go goof off. I am sure in your new world you were laughing but I wish I could hear you.
Love and miss you Pete.