One step at the time

My heart is still in a million pieces but at least they are still all together. I am trying to keep my marriage and move on but its not easy. It does not take much to trigger all those feelings of betrayal and hurt. My relationship with my H will never be the same, but for now if we can manage to live in some kind of peaceful harmony and as long as he does not cheat on me again, I believe that I can do it.
I still can't get any satisfactory answers about what he did to help me understand how this happened, but if I want to talk about it - we talk about it. I started a new job which gets me out of the apartment and among other people something that I needed desperately. 
I know that if I have to live on my own that I will be fine. I also have the support of my children and family regardless what I do and that means a lot to me.
I don't really know how I feel about my H now but to me right now its irrelevant. I am on Survival mode for now.