One Shitty Diagnosis After Another.
Every time I see a doctor, they find more crap wrong with me.. It's not that the pain has been unbearable lately, it's just spread to my whole body. And I even have at least two different types of pain per area.. My back pain has returned along with a hair patch, neck stiffness, and excruciating pain when I bend over. Classic signs of tethered cord syndrome. The first surgery was hellish; I really don't think my body can handle another one right now.. Plus, my nerve conduction test showed small fiber nerve damage, so my back pain may never ease up. But the doctor did increase my Cymbalta, so that's at least something good.
I keep finding myself struggling to find good things. That's not how anyone should have to live.
The anti depressants have been helping though.. I'm a little bit less anxious, and even though I'm upset, I'm at least not spending the whole day crying like I used to.
It's just that it's been almost two years since I've been pain free. Every Christmas, I'm reminded of how great my Christmases used to be when I was little. Before I had IIH, fibro, a syrinx, Celiac.. I'm reminded every day of how I thought my life was so bad, but I took so much for granted. I would kill to have that life back now..
I keep finding myself struggling to find good things. That's not how anyone should have to live.
The anti depressants have been helping though.. I'm a little bit less anxious, and even though I'm upset, I'm at least not spending the whole day crying like I used to.
It's just that it's been almost two years since I've been pain free. Every Christmas, I'm reminded of how great my Christmases used to be when I was little. Before I had IIH, fibro, a syrinx, Celiac.. I'm reminded every day of how I thought my life was so bad, but I took so much for granted. I would kill to have that life back now..
Replies
So sorry...hope u feel better.
Dear Emily. I\'m sorry your feeling so bad physically and mentally.. I know what you mean about when xmas used to be so great as a kid. I get really down on New Year Eve now, thinking about the painful year that just passed and now have another one just the same to look forward to yeah!!.
I hope your pain is at least a bit bearable and Santa brings you want you want - I asked him for a new body this year lol.
Thank you.. Lol wouldn\'t that be great?
Oh maddy, I would need a new body and a brain that worked the way it should. I am visiting my family and it can be hard to deal with many personalites. My brother and my sil. I have to refine my social skills. Oh well doing my best. New brain synapes would be good and a new body.