One Sad Year
Sadly, today was one year since my beloved Jack left me to be with God in Heaven. I spent much of the day crying as life without him seems to get worse instead of better. My children were wonderful but I spent much of the day alone, talking to my love - I can only hope he knows how very much I miss him and that I have no life without him. Everyone tells me that now things will be better since I have experienced one time all of the important dates such as holiday and birthdays - how can they know the feelings that seep through my mind and that my heart is so broken I do not understand why it does not just give up and I can wend my way to the man I spent my life with - it was not always perfect but we worked our way through and our retirement years (20) were like a paradise - how can I not miss that. If anyone out there can guide me to at least a tiny bit of peace and maybe a wee bit of joy at sometime I would love your input. Thank God for our children, they are my saving grace. Love from sad old Agnes
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Oh Agnes, I am sorry you are feeling still so terribly sad and lonely. We all have our own ways of dealing with all of this pain and loss and all I can say is that you may have it for a longer period of time or you may start to enjoy things a little at a time. I still find myself crying most days, not as much or as long but still do, I too miss everything about Stevan and I know that you do to. There are no ready answers for any one of us here, we will all go through our emotions our own way, some may be similar but I don\'t think any wil be the exact same so we must find our way the best we can, we will always miss them and love them and feel the pain of them not being here but we must, for them continue to try to live, they would not want us to shrivel up and die, I know they wouldn\'t. they know how much we hurt but they also know that we are strong, we made it this far and never thought we could, so all I can say is that you have your family and friends and your friends here at DS to help you if we can, we will try our hardest as you will try to help each of us. Stay strong my dear friend Agnes and keep fighting the Beast of Grief ( the Grief Monster ) that\'s what I call it. We will not let him win Agnes, we will not let him win! Are there any groups you can join, not just grief but maybe through church, volunterring with school age kids, etc. I have 2 kids that keep me kinda busy and they are still at home so it helps me a bit. Maybe if you could get into something where you get out and get together with others you will find a new niche that you enjoy, just ideas. anyway I hope for you to have better days and nights. Peace and Love to you Agnes
Your friend here
Laurie