One of those moods again

I'm in one of those moods again where I'm just completely grumpy and irritated. Ash is off and I've looked forward to seeing her, I guess. She's only worked 2 nights and I can never seem to be happy. I'm not happy when she's not here and when she is here I'm stressed out. So what am I supposed to do with that? Honestly it's crazy. I feel bad about it because she's home and I should be really happy about it. I just never seem to be happy. I'm happy alone but I'm not at the same time.