One more out of the house
So my middle son is now gone. It is really weird without him. I have two bedrooms downstairs and they are now both empty. I know we had to buy a big enough house to fit our family at the time, but now it is emptying out and don't know what to do with the space. It just feels hollow and wrong. We turned my oldest boy's room into a guest room which was fine, but what do I do with this one. My son says set it up for the grandkids. Well I don't have any yet and they aren't planning any for 3 years.
He did not take much of his stuff with him when he left so I spent 2 hours yesterday packing up stuff. I was surprised it didn't bother me more, but he is so messy I was annoyed by all the food wrappers and trash I found all over his room. Kept me from being too sad. He stopped by on his way home from work to get more clothes. Only stayed a minute. Told me not to text him at bedtime again.
I don't know why but not being able to tell my kids good night is the very hardest for me. I have always hugged and kissed them before I went to bed and it is so hard not being able to. My middle son is into texting so his first night gone I texted him good night. He didn't reply until later and told me I made him feel bad and not to do it again. Well I couldn't help it the second night. Sent him a text 30 minutes before I usually go to bed this time thinking that way he could reply. Took the phone to bed with me, but an hour and a half later nothing. So guess I need to stop. Just want to tell him good night. Know it is stupid.
Will see him frequently he is not far away, but he has such a huge, loud personality it is just way too quiet now. Hoping with him gone my youngest will talk more, but 18 years of being so overshadowed by his brother it is doubtful. I tried to talk to him off and on in the afternoon and just got silence or one word responses. Plus my middle son was my hugger. Will sure miss that. A lot.
Don't think trying to write it out is helping, now I'm crying again. Sigh. Just don't know how to feel better.
He did not take much of his stuff with him when he left so I spent 2 hours yesterday packing up stuff. I was surprised it didn't bother me more, but he is so messy I was annoyed by all the food wrappers and trash I found all over his room. Kept me from being too sad. He stopped by on his way home from work to get more clothes. Only stayed a minute. Told me not to text him at bedtime again.
I don't know why but not being able to tell my kids good night is the very hardest for me. I have always hugged and kissed them before I went to bed and it is so hard not being able to. My middle son is into texting so his first night gone I texted him good night. He didn't reply until later and told me I made him feel bad and not to do it again. Well I couldn't help it the second night. Sent him a text 30 minutes before I usually go to bed this time thinking that way he could reply. Took the phone to bed with me, but an hour and a half later nothing. So guess I need to stop. Just want to tell him good night. Know it is stupid.
Will see him frequently he is not far away, but he has such a huge, loud personality it is just way too quiet now. Hoping with him gone my youngest will talk more, but 18 years of being so overshadowed by his brother it is doubtful. I tried to talk to him off and on in the afternoon and just got silence or one word responses. Plus my middle son was my hugger. Will sure miss that. A lot.
Don't think trying to write it out is helping, now I'm crying again. Sigh. Just don't know how to feel better.
Replies
:( HUGS!!!!!!
ouchie..sounds painful...it will take some time to adjust.i\'m glad he\'s going to be close by.....hang in there.it will be ok...(((hugss)))
Hang in there P :) It\'s a big change and people like us do NOT like big changes :) Cry it out as it\'s better then leaving it in. Take care and have a great day P!