One Month Today (letter to John)

April 26, 2011, Dear John,Today it is One Month, that you died.  I still can't believe it, I feel like you abandoned me, I know in my HEART that you would never do that, but it is so hard to believe that you are really gone.  My Heart is broken and in a million little pieces.  I can truly understand why they say some people die not long after there spouse does, of a broken heart.  I miss you so much and long to see you again.  If only I knew it would be our last night together I would have held onto you and never let you go.  We have a lifetime of memories in our 32 years together, probably more than some would have in 50 years.  But we were suppose to grow old together and now it's just me.  The kids are grown and have their own lives and check on me all the time.  The Grandkids miss their POPS.   But it's just not the same without you.  I miss your good morning kisses and your smile that would make me laugh.  You were my everything and now I feel like I have nothing.  So I just wanted to tell you I love you until we meet again.   Dra'