One Month Out
I left him one month ago today. I have been NC for 3 days. I don't ever want him back. I am still so sad about him though. I know he is a lost cause, but I'm still missing him. He is an ass and a drunk and a mean person, but I still miss him.
I'm glad that I've been able to stay away from him. I'm glad that he's not trying too hard to get me back.
Feeling kind of low today. I didn't hear back on the apartment, so I called the owner & he didn't call me back, sooo that doesn't look good. I so want my own place. I guess I will start looking again tomorrow.
I'm glad that I've been able to stay away from him. I'm glad that he's not trying too hard to get me back.
Feeling kind of low today. I didn't hear back on the apartment, so I called the owner & he didn't call me back, sooo that doesn't look good. I so want my own place. I guess I will start looking again tomorrow.
Replies
You\'re doing well MS! Keep moving forward. God will reveal more. What I find about missing my X, even though I know she\'s not right for me, is that when I feel good about myself I don\'t miss her. When I\'m feeling vulnerable- sad, lonely and fearful I get to missing her. I realize today that\'s part of my Coda. Looking for something to make me feel better. Eventhough it comes with a lot of baggage. It would be like a drink for an Alcoholic. I know going back to the drink is not good and temporary, but the draw is so powerful. So for me, it\'s all about working on me. I no longer want to settle for less. No relationship is better than a bad one. It also helps to play the past through my head(reflect). Awful and why would I want to go back to that? Don\'t I care enough about myself to want better? Love and support
Wow, a month already. Isn\'t that incredible. It must be something to think back to how you felt a month before you left him. What progress you\'ve made. Crossing my fingers for you that the apartment situation works out for you soon -- it\'s hard to be a \'guest\' somewhere. It\'ll just give you that much more of a sense of freedom to have your own four walls.
I hear you about the sadness re. your ex. He may well be a lost cause and he certainly sounds like a mean drunk. But that\'s only part of the picture and so of course it\'s the other part you miss, the part of him that is good and loveable. But until he sees the need to get help, he\'s going to continue to be both of those things. And for so long as he is, you can\'t be near him without getting harmed. And from the sounds of it, you may have been in danger of serious harm at some point. Better to be alive and missing him than the alternative.
Hang in there, it\'s a long process when you love the one you left or left us. But you\'re doing so well, you are truly an inspiration to all of us here. His not trying to win you back is typical, if they don\'t fight for you while you\'re together, they aren\'t going to fight for you when you leave. I would have given anything for my ex to fight for me but he didn\'t and he won\'t. As much as they are asses and basically ruined are lives, we for some reason still love them. That my friend is the hard part of all of this, letting go of the good parts. I still struggle almost daily and my ex left a year ago. All things happen for a reason and in their own time. My goal now is to find new living arrangements so let the journey continue............................hugs
Congrats on a month of freedom! I hope they come back to you about the apartment, or an even better option shows up.