One month later
So exactly 28 days post-D & C, AF shows up. I had kind of been expecting it, with a huge migraine and increased irritability. I thought I was doing ok until last night when I lost it. Hubby and I were relaxing and having a few drinks and I got annoyed at some little thing he did and it turned into a huge thing and got out of control.
I just cried and cried and he assumed it was because of him and something he did. It took forever for me to explain that it wasn't anything that he did, that I was just sad and needed to let it out.
I have been holding up pretty well, but was getting increasingly upset because most people didn't say anything after our initial conversation. I don't know if it was just too hard or awkward to talk about, or if they all just assumed that I was doing fine and was over it, or what. But even my husband, he would talk about things when I wanted to, but no one, not even him, had asked me "how are you doing?" for a long time.
I am strong, I know I will get through this. But that doesn't mean that I am always ok, and that I don't need people to check up on me or express their concern and sympathy more than once.
On top of the inappropriate comment from my mom last week (she basically said that it shouldn't "be so hard" to get pregnant and that it was because I was overweight), and AF showing up, I had just had it. I know my husband and family is there for me, but I still feel so alone. No one really knows what I am going through, so they don't know how to act, and they either don't talk about it or avoid me all together.
I almost feel like I have been "acting" fine because that is what everyone expects of me, and that I need to just be fine and move on. But that is not the case. I need to be upset and let it out, and not feel guilty or bad about it.
Now things are weird and off with hubby this morning, which is making me feel even worse. I am sure we will work through it, it just sucks.
I just cried and cried and he assumed it was because of him and something he did. It took forever for me to explain that it wasn't anything that he did, that I was just sad and needed to let it out.
I have been holding up pretty well, but was getting increasingly upset because most people didn't say anything after our initial conversation. I don't know if it was just too hard or awkward to talk about, or if they all just assumed that I was doing fine and was over it, or what. But even my husband, he would talk about things when I wanted to, but no one, not even him, had asked me "how are you doing?" for a long time.
I am strong, I know I will get through this. But that doesn't mean that I am always ok, and that I don't need people to check up on me or express their concern and sympathy more than once.
On top of the inappropriate comment from my mom last week (she basically said that it shouldn't "be so hard" to get pregnant and that it was because I was overweight), and AF showing up, I had just had it. I know my husband and family is there for me, but I still feel so alone. No one really knows what I am going through, so they don't know how to act, and they either don't talk about it or avoid me all together.
I almost feel like I have been "acting" fine because that is what everyone expects of me, and that I need to just be fine and move on. But that is not the case. I need to be upset and let it out, and not feel guilty or bad about it.
Now things are weird and off with hubby this morning, which is making me feel even worse. I am sure we will work through it, it just sucks.
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