One Month Again

It's been a month since the last time I cut.  I seem to be in a once a month pattern.  So now i have to try to break it and go two months.  The last week or two have been really rough.  Tempted pretty much every day, lots of dissociation, lots of sleep and little direction of what to do with myself. 
 
I'm seeing my therapist twice a week.  I'm still trying to figure out what to do with my 'parts'.  sometimes one comes forward and I just lay on my bed in the fetal position, feeling the fear and dissociation and waiting for it to pass.  I'm on more meds than ever before.  5 for anti-anxiety or depression.  And I totally can feel it when I miss a dose.  I don't like being so dependent on the things, but they make me feel sane.