One Month

One month ago a found out my baby was gone; one of the worst days of my life.  The longing is still there; to know that a precious life is growing inside of me.  I try not to be angry at those who are expecting because I don't know what their journey has been like, but I can't deny that I envy them and wait for that day to one day come again.  I pray that someday soon God will bless me with another miracle that I will one day be able to hold in my arms.
This year I find Father's Day to be bittersweet.  It is a day for me to honor my husband for the wonderful father he has been to our son, but it saddens me to know that he too will have to wait to share in that precious miracle too.  Today I would have been around 13 weeks, feeling that we were in the clear and could share our wonderful news with the world, but instead I feel I have a secret to hide fearing people reactions or lack there of to our loss/pain.
Sorry, just need to have a sad moment to myself.