One Month??

   Well its been one month and I haven't really journaled at all about it? I still can't believe it at times? So very lost and confused, afraid to do the things we did together, journaling at one time is something we both enjoyed. Then he lost everything when he lost everything he owned one day on a binge? When he eventually came back he had begun to build again with me and then this last binge once again he loaded everything in his truck that he owned and within a few weeks it too was all gone. Each time it was either lost, stolen, impounded in the vehicle, or repo'd with the vehicle. He hated what was happening each time he binged, over time he just lost and lost, friends, family, and even me when I started going to alanon and its all about the letting go he new I had to let go, he new the steps himself. I never wanted to let go I loved the man he could be with out the drugs, and he was such a fighter and tried so hard to pull himself together and function and move forward each day. I was always amazed at his strength and energy. Me I would be beaten down and devestated over the exhaustion of worrying about while out on his binge, it consumed me and I mean consumed me, he was my addiction...