One hell of a month so far...and two days left!
Right, so I know I haven't been on here much and I will apologize to you all now. I'm sorry for not being here. This is not an excuse, but just so you all know what's up: I have been struggling to keep depression at bay. I've been getting to spend a TON of time with my Dad lately too, so that's helping. Unfortunately 2 weeks ago my DH was given termination papers out of the blue. So now we have 0 income. None whatsoever. Not cool, people, not cool at all!
DH has been stressed and worried and is, as usual, bottling it all up inside because he's scared of sending me into panic attacks again. (Last big panic attack I had was the weekend of Sept. 6-8, when school started up.) Between Dad being here and stressing over Dh's termination, I honestly did not think about coming to DS and posting a journal. I got emails to say that you all had posted up journals and I did read most of them as they came in, but completely forgot that I could post one up as well.
So now DH is going out several days a week pounding the pavement looking for a job (anything, not even what he used to hold, just SOMETHING) and getting nowhere thus far. He's not even accepting rides from my Dad because walking helps him destress, so neither of us are pushing the issue of rides. I'm worried about not only paying rent and bills, but being able to afford my tuition. Right now I can afford to pay the $2,000 partial payment that's due on the 10th, but we're not sure we'll be able to gather up the remaining $1,600 and pay for books. Though as part of his severance package, DH is getting paid for 5 weeks and is getting his vacation paid out to him in a prearranged set of amounts to lessen how much is taken for taxes each pay.
Enough about that, on to the IF stuff. In 2 days (well, technically one point five, since it'll be in the AM of Wednesday) I will be seeing my new RE! I'm nervous (all internet reviews of this guy say he's not much different than my previous RE when it comes to overweight women) and anxious about having do redo all the testing. I'm going to push for him to get the hysterosalpingogram results from my old RE if he wants to do that one again. No way am I going through that again, even though it wasn't that bad, it was extremely uncomfortable and with my anxiety already up? No thanks!
I'm hopeful that we'll get somewhere, especially on the PCOS front, but not looking forward to staying with my in-laws. They're great people, but they're really hard for me to handle because they don't understand depression and anxiety at all, nor do they understand introversion. I am an introvert through and through. Hell, I tell more to you guys that I do to people in my everyday life because talking face-to-face to anyone other than my Dh on a regular basis is overwhelming. Don't get me wrong, I love being with my friends and family, I just hate having to talk and to talk about myself and my personal affairs. Here, I don't HAVE to talk about everything, I choose when I do talk about it. It's that choice that makes me happier to talk about things here, and the awesome ladies who are so understanding of everything I'm going through too!
Now to start making sure I have everything ready for the morning (DH's mother is picking us up at 10am tomorrow and we'll be staying with them until Thursday), and compile a list of questions to ask the new RE. Anyone got any advice for what to ask for (since I'm starting fresh again)?
DH has been stressed and worried and is, as usual, bottling it all up inside because he's scared of sending me into panic attacks again. (Last big panic attack I had was the weekend of Sept. 6-8, when school started up.) Between Dad being here and stressing over Dh's termination, I honestly did not think about coming to DS and posting a journal. I got emails to say that you all had posted up journals and I did read most of them as they came in, but completely forgot that I could post one up as well.
So now DH is going out several days a week pounding the pavement looking for a job (anything, not even what he used to hold, just SOMETHING) and getting nowhere thus far. He's not even accepting rides from my Dad because walking helps him destress, so neither of us are pushing the issue of rides. I'm worried about not only paying rent and bills, but being able to afford my tuition. Right now I can afford to pay the $2,000 partial payment that's due on the 10th, but we're not sure we'll be able to gather up the remaining $1,600 and pay for books. Though as part of his severance package, DH is getting paid for 5 weeks and is getting his vacation paid out to him in a prearranged set of amounts to lessen how much is taken for taxes each pay.
Enough about that, on to the IF stuff. In 2 days (well, technically one point five, since it'll be in the AM of Wednesday) I will be seeing my new RE! I'm nervous (all internet reviews of this guy say he's not much different than my previous RE when it comes to overweight women) and anxious about having do redo all the testing. I'm going to push for him to get the hysterosalpingogram results from my old RE if he wants to do that one again. No way am I going through that again, even though it wasn't that bad, it was extremely uncomfortable and with my anxiety already up? No thanks!
I'm hopeful that we'll get somewhere, especially on the PCOS front, but not looking forward to staying with my in-laws. They're great people, but they're really hard for me to handle because they don't understand depression and anxiety at all, nor do they understand introversion. I am an introvert through and through. Hell, I tell more to you guys that I do to people in my everyday life because talking face-to-face to anyone other than my Dh on a regular basis is overwhelming. Don't get me wrong, I love being with my friends and family, I just hate having to talk and to talk about myself and my personal affairs. Here, I don't HAVE to talk about everything, I choose when I do talk about it. It's that choice that makes me happier to talk about things here, and the awesome ladies who are so understanding of everything I'm going through too!
Now to start making sure I have everything ready for the morning (DH's mother is picking us up at 10am tomorrow and we'll be staying with them until Thursday), and compile a list of questions to ask the new RE. Anyone got any advice for what to ask for (since I'm starting fresh again)?
Replies
I\'m sorry you\'re so stressed. Good luck with the new RE. I think the most important thing is to get a plan. I would not leave without a plan completely mapped out that you are comfortable with.
My only advice is to push testing and don\'t let him dismiss all of your issues as being weight related. You deserve better than that!
When it rains it pours :-/ I am so sorry you were hit with such a big storm all at once but it sounds like you are taking it all in stride and knocking out a piece at a time. Which I believe is the best way to go! You have a lot on your plate hun so try to be easy on yourself. I am praying you get a solid plan put together with the new RE and def don\'t let him push you around because of your weight!
Sorry you are struggling so much I really hope your husband can find a job super soon and that you pay everything you need to pay for school! Best of luck at the new RE I really hope he is helpful to you! XO
I\'m sorry things have been so hard. I hope the new re can help. I would start by explaining what you have done so far and what he would do differently from your old re.
good luck