ONE DAY I WILL BE OK ... RIGHT?

why why why do i do this to myself .. why do i keep spending all my money on this stupid kid who doesnt even love mee... amd uses amd abusees mee  i seriously jsut dont get it ...ughhh my heartttt ... what the fuck I REALLY CANT TAKE THIS SHIT ANYMORE ITSNOT FAIR THAT I SIT HERE AND DO THIS UGHHHHH BLAAAHH .... FUCK MY LIFE ANDI KNOW THAT HE IS USING ME IT FUKEN BLOWS SOOO BAD ITS NOT FAIR THAT HE USESSSS MEE WHAT THE FUCCKKK ANDI KNOW IT BUT TI LET HIM USE ME AND ABUSE ME AND HE DOESNT EVEN CARE ... I REALIZED THAT THAT LAST NIGHT WHEN I SLEPT ON THE COUCH AND HE DIDNT EVE NASK ME TO COME SLEEP WITH HIM .... WHATS WRONG WITH ME .. ISIT HTERE AND LET HIM FUCKEN USE ME AND THEN HE DOESNT EVEN WANTTO BE BY ME ... AND WHEN WE HAVE SEX ITS LIKE HE DOESNT EVEN WANT TO ... WHY HE DOES IDK WHAT THE FUCKKKK UGH PLEASAE SOMEONE ONE TAKE ME AWAY FORM THIS HORRIBLE PLACEEE.... I DONT GET HOW HE CAN TREAT ME SOOOO FUCKEN BAD WHEN I SIT THERE AND LOVE HIM ... AMD HE UESSES ME BUT HE DOESNT EVEN CARE ... HE REALLLLLYYY DOESNT ....... IN THE LAST 6 MONTHS I HAVE GIVEN HIM SOOO MUCH MONEY AND TIRED SOOOO HARD T OGIVE HIM STUFF ... UGGHHHH AND HE DOESNT VEN APPCATE IT OR ANYHTING ....