One Day At A Time - but I'm so depressed

This is my 1st journal entry. Not even sure what to say. I'm embarrassed  & humiliated of my weight now & how I look. I don't dare to even look in the mirror any more. I despise what I see. I'm a recovering addict. Now 7 yrs. clean so doctors won't even consider giving me any sort of a diet pill & I honestly understand why they wouldn't. I'm in this wheel chair, can barely make any steps at all, only mainly to the bathroom. Sometimes I just wish I would pass away in my sleep. I am that miserable. I'm trying everything to lose this weight but exercise is nearly impossible but I still keep trying. I was ready to throw in the towel but decided to give it one more try. So I googled help with obesity & discovered this site. I'm completely  oblivious as to how this site even works yet. Don't know how to make friends. Heck I've not even figured out how to get my profile pic on yet even tho I've loaded them. But I'm here.....giving it one more shot. I really need an understanding friend. Surely someone cares. I'm just very depressed. Guess that's it for today. God bless all, much respect, Tam