One common denominator
I can see how she became the bully if this is the patterns she had to deal with. Was nothing getting done? Was she always waiting on you? Was the only time you would respond was when she was angry? Did you treat her the same? Did you act like important time sensitive matters were nothing and that you could play her and treat her time like it didn't matter, but yours was to be coveted and honored?
Did she feel like she had to become the teacher /mother, maybe she had a propensity for it already, just like me?
Did she have to demand to be respected, and I've failed at that? Did she have to demand your time, your consideration? Is this how she became a bully? Because you couldn't act like a man and approach the relationship in an honest real way, taking mature steps to build the relationship even when you don't want to, you're tired, you were angry, you felt resentment? Because you couldn't ask for what you needed or wanted, you made it hard for her to get what she needed and wanted too?
Did you also have that boy screaming "Don't wanna!" at her? Did you also let your fear and ego make sure that she couldn't get what she really wanted, controlling emotion and connection so that she had to make up for it in other unhealthy ways? Did you also manipulate and emotionally crush her? And did she eventually, being fused and co dependent adapt those very same traits the way I'm being pulled into, and trying to resist, temptation to also do?
Did you play the submissive passive aggressive as a form of control until she couldn't tell reality from fiction? Did you give her so many false apologies and inaction that she had to demand what she needed? Did she feel like she had to fight back against your attempts of control?
Did you not allow her to be herself, to see the best in her, to see the worst, so that is eventually what she became? Did you demand so much without acknowledging and celebrating what was there, that the beauty was lost?
Did you ignore her cries to be shown love, and all her understanding to waste because you wouldn't listen to her side of the story and consider it a real, equally important and valid experience? You wouldn't let it influence how you treated her, or your actions?
Did you take advantage of her sacrifices and take and take until she had no more to give? Did you act like the many big and little things done for you just didn't matter because it wasn't what you wanted, or wasn't done the way you wanted?
So tell me about your searches of pictures of women, pornographic or not, to finish the job. Tell me how you leave me and go to the bathroom to finish. Tell me how you look at other women, how I can see it and you don't care. Tell me how you lied to me that it was never real sex after Alec, when she was performing sex acts on you and asking if it was ok even though you were clearly coming as late as 2011.. and I'm sure much later that you've gotten rid of any proof of, or won't admit to.
Tell me how you use other things to avoid me. Tell me how you refuse to take actions and will do anything but try to connect. Tell me again how somehow it's not possible you don't have attachment issues which are so glaring clear. Tell me again why it is every time I want something from you, it's bad, but when I don't want some thing, or I move away from you, suddenly you move towards me.
Tell me again how I matter when you take what I am doing and treat it like it's an offense, or nothing.
Tell me again, how are we any different?
Did she feel like she had to become the teacher /mother, maybe she had a propensity for it already, just like me?
Did she have to demand to be respected, and I've failed at that? Did she have to demand your time, your consideration? Is this how she became a bully? Because you couldn't act like a man and approach the relationship in an honest real way, taking mature steps to build the relationship even when you don't want to, you're tired, you were angry, you felt resentment? Because you couldn't ask for what you needed or wanted, you made it hard for her to get what she needed and wanted too?
Did you also have that boy screaming "Don't wanna!" at her? Did you also let your fear and ego make sure that she couldn't get what she really wanted, controlling emotion and connection so that she had to make up for it in other unhealthy ways? Did you also manipulate and emotionally crush her? And did she eventually, being fused and co dependent adapt those very same traits the way I'm being pulled into, and trying to resist, temptation to also do?
Did you play the submissive passive aggressive as a form of control until she couldn't tell reality from fiction? Did you give her so many false apologies and inaction that she had to demand what she needed? Did she feel like she had to fight back against your attempts of control?
Did you not allow her to be herself, to see the best in her, to see the worst, so that is eventually what she became? Did you demand so much without acknowledging and celebrating what was there, that the beauty was lost?
Did you ignore her cries to be shown love, and all her understanding to waste because you wouldn't listen to her side of the story and consider it a real, equally important and valid experience? You wouldn't let it influence how you treated her, or your actions?
Did you take advantage of her sacrifices and take and take until she had no more to give? Did you act like the many big and little things done for you just didn't matter because it wasn't what you wanted, or wasn't done the way you wanted?
So tell me about your searches of pictures of women, pornographic or not, to finish the job. Tell me how you leave me and go to the bathroom to finish. Tell me how you look at other women, how I can see it and you don't care. Tell me how you lied to me that it was never real sex after Alec, when she was performing sex acts on you and asking if it was ok even though you were clearly coming as late as 2011.. and I'm sure much later that you've gotten rid of any proof of, or won't admit to.
Tell me how you use other things to avoid me. Tell me how you refuse to take actions and will do anything but try to connect. Tell me again how somehow it's not possible you don't have attachment issues which are so glaring clear. Tell me again why it is every time I want something from you, it's bad, but when I don't want some thing, or I move away from you, suddenly you move towards me.
Tell me again how I matter when you take what I am doing and treat it like it's an offense, or nothing.
Tell me again, how are we any different?
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