One Baby Step at a Time
Mum's death, followed so quickly by the death of my mother-in-law has rocked me. I have not been very communicative over the past four months and things that gave me a sense of purpose have lost meaning.
It is not as if I have not been trying to keep moving forward after going through the funerals and the inevitable sorting of possessions.
I went on a trip to Malaysia, had a wonderful, unforgettable celebration for my birthday, have made regular efforts to do things and fit in here, have a new puppy to love and have committed and bought myself a home in a neighboring town with a strong art community. I used to be highly creative. I am a writer and artist and want to be with kindred spirits.
Yet still it is hard to get up of a morning. This morning it is not helped by the cold blast we have been experiencing. The first balmy days of spring have dissolved and torrential rain keeps me and the dogs inside.
I want to keep contact here, want to be involved and active but the will has not been strong enough lately.
Perhaps if I even write one short entry and come to the place each day I will get myself going again.
It is not as if I have not been trying to keep moving forward after going through the funerals and the inevitable sorting of possessions.
I went on a trip to Malaysia, had a wonderful, unforgettable celebration for my birthday, have made regular efforts to do things and fit in here, have a new puppy to love and have committed and bought myself a home in a neighboring town with a strong art community. I used to be highly creative. I am a writer and artist and want to be with kindred spirits.
Yet still it is hard to get up of a morning. This morning it is not helped by the cold blast we have been experiencing. The first balmy days of spring have dissolved and torrential rain keeps me and the dogs inside.
I want to keep contact here, want to be involved and active but the will has not been strong enough lately.
Perhaps if I even write one short entry and come to the place each day I will get myself going again.
Replies
Heather,l know the feeling believe me,life sometimes is like a battleground.l think what we have to do is walk away from the battle,l get fed up fighting all the strange feelings associated with grief,l am beginning to accept that this is how it is,create what life there is and just do your best,well this is how l feel.
Heather everyone misses you on here,we love reading your journal they are always interesting and informative,l hope you do start getting involved again,get yourself going.
Alice
Hang in there and remember to take it slow. You have had so much grief in your life that it amazes me that you can function so well. A new puppy is wonderful to have and I hope he/she brings you lots of love. I hope the rainy days give way to sunny ones for you. Hugs, Nancy
It is 4 years since Joe died and I am still lost. It is impresive that you have made so many changes -- moving, buying a hoe, a puupy, etc. You are such a productive and creative soul that I just know the road will smooth out in the not too distant future.
Kep in touch
Sel
typos everywhere. I am getting worse!!!! home, puppy, keep, impressive...good grief Chalie Brown.
I think you are doing great and look forward to hearing more. Hugs!!!
It\'s always good to hear from you Heather. You have been through such a difficult time lately and yet continued to go forward which is a great credit to you. Building this new life certainly isn\'t esy but I hope your new home brings you a new contentment and that you continue to make those steps forward. Don\'t be too hard on yourself. Be patient and remember you have already achieved much. Do keep in touch and keep connecting here, I\'m sure it helps us all. Take care. Patrick
A sense of ennui has set in for you as it has done for all of us at one time or another. You have accomplished a great deal but it seems as nothing. There were many days I said to myself \"I can do this!\" until something sparked my natural enthusuasm again....it took awhile.
Love......