Once again...I realize the truth

I have no one to talk to so the blank face of this website has to suffice. I have no friends and my fiance barely listens to me. Im struggling with my pain, which sits at a 6/10 on the normal scale on a daily basis, I definitely have PTSD that I wont go get help for and who knows what else I have going on. Sidenote: Im very, very drunk right now and all my injuries hurt...alot. I dont know what else to do. 

I struggle every day and if i didn't have my son to look after...heh....I'd be hard pressed to find a reason to continue. He's the reason im back in the gym trying to better myself. Hes the reason I wake up in the morning, the reason I go to work instead of any random way I could end just end it. Firearms, knives, alcohol, poison....whatever. It should be my faimly that keeps me going but....its just him. And i feel horrible about that, I really do. 

No one will ever see this.. I seriously dont know why I even have an account on here. The only reason I made it was because of a fiance I abandoned and never talked to again. She found something to keep her going and is no longer on here. Me? heh...i can barely fuckin type a sentence without having to fix it. 

Ill probably delete this at some point, But who knows. I cant find a reason to care right now. Just trying not to completely break down in front of everyone.