On september 22nd...it will be 4 months ...why? Vader

i have got a question that has been haunting me.Why do people commit suicide? Brad had everything to live for and things were going to turn around for him...but like all men Brad was inpatience.Look...the last two weeks of his life...Brad treated me terrible.He was just so sick from drinking and constanly throwing up.He wouldnt eat.He wouldnt help himself.I tried to sober him up and I tried..but then he got resentful and I felt his anger.Brad started to verbally abuse me and it was terrible.One day he hit me in the arm and it has just healed.I couldnt leave.People dont understand this.The cats are all i have.And I was worried about their safety.They too were scared.But the night of 5/21/09...i called for help and Brad wouldnt go into rehab.I knew then that the end was coming.He was throwing up blood.There was blood in the urine and it had a terrible smell.Brad was in the bathtub.He told me that if anything did happen to pay the bills on the table and keep the cats together and stay in the house...he made me promise this....look where I am ....the house is very big and I dont want a room mate.Brad and I like our privavy and I am decorating the house the way it should be.I have got my Halloween decors and I have found my Xmas.I found things that I thought that he threw out and he was always throwing stuff of mine out without asking me.Number one...it iwas my stuff and number two it was none of his business.Noone will ever touch this personal effects again because my late father gave me to me and nnoone and I mean noone will touch them.I am going to make a will and will them to my great nephew who is 18 and will live longer then me and have the memory of a great grandfather that he never knew.So these people who are telling people to throw things out...get a life...I am not a hoarder..I have got memories and my memories will never be duplicated and if i want to keep certain songs and clothes and such...just who do you think you are telling me that I cant? Do me a favor...when it comes to my father...MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS..............I MISS MY FATHER AND I MISS OUR CONVERSATIONS AND I MISS HIS HUMOUR AND HIS LOVE OF BOOKS.The next person who doesnt read magazines,read catalogs,newspapers and such and isnt well read or well versed in the what is going on and cannot have a conversation without mentioning sports and such will be dropped on the first date.You have to live in the world and if you want to avoid media and such...then you are going thru a depression and you must realize this...the whole world does not center on you.everyone has got their problems..but when it comes to problems with my female friends....they are always going ga ga over the first guy who said hello and then he becomes their whole world and forget about other people..guys you will never be number one.Number one.....flew the coop years ago.it was a tragic misunderstanding why he left.Number two----married someone else and number three was Brad who committed suicide and i refuse to get involved with anyone anymore.But if your name is Axl Rose and you have got red hair with lovely green eyes,tattoos and hair like Axls and are able to converse on any subject come to seattle and meet me at starbucks.

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We NEVER find out the WHYS! We just have to do the best we can with whatever it is that we do know. God Bless you! Love, Judy