On road to recovery... Sort of
(JOURNAL ENTRY FROM YESTERDAY I WANTED TO SHARE)
Today I talked to my youth minister. It was so helpful to get stuff off my chest. But that good feeling quickly went away once my parents got home. They started making fun of me asking why have you been so "depressed" (quotation marks to emphasize sarcastic voice) lately? Huh? I told them I don't want to talk about it nor do I have to. They kept on and and kept on asking. No matter how much I said I didn't want to talk they wouldn't stop. I finally said it's mom not being sensitive to my feelings and making rude comments about me. Mom told me (I don't know when exactly) that she was "so happy" for getting a phone call from my youth minister today. I also think I heard her and dad talking about me later on in the evening while cleaning up the kitchen. I heard mom say "I'm this "awful" person and of course she's (me) perfect" I wasn't eavesdropping just walking by and heard them say that. I want to continue talking to my youth minister but if my parents are going to be nosy about what me and him talk about then I don't wanna do that. It's my BIGGEST concern. I'm going to talk to my youth minister again later on and tell him how much this concerns me. I feel like I made the wrong decision to tell my youth minister because my mom made such a big deal about it.
Today I talked to my youth minister. It was so helpful to get stuff off my chest. But that good feeling quickly went away once my parents got home. They started making fun of me asking why have you been so "depressed" (quotation marks to emphasize sarcastic voice) lately? Huh? I told them I don't want to talk about it nor do I have to. They kept on and and kept on asking. No matter how much I said I didn't want to talk they wouldn't stop. I finally said it's mom not being sensitive to my feelings and making rude comments about me. Mom told me (I don't know when exactly) that she was "so happy" for getting a phone call from my youth minister today. I also think I heard her and dad talking about me later on in the evening while cleaning up the kitchen. I heard mom say "I'm this "awful" person and of course she's (me) perfect" I wasn't eavesdropping just walking by and heard them say that. I want to continue talking to my youth minister but if my parents are going to be nosy about what me and him talk about then I don't wanna do that. It's my BIGGEST concern. I'm going to talk to my youth minister again later on and tell him how much this concerns me. I feel like I made the wrong decision to tell my youth minister because my mom made such a big deal about it.
Replies
I am very concerned that your youth minister is not keeping your discussion confidential. Part of being in that position is to keep things confidential. As I understand it, since you are of age, he was totally out of line calling your parents. Please discuss this w/him before confiding in him again. If he won\'t agree or if he agrees and does it again, then please find someone else.
Ok. I brought it up as a concern but we never discussed it in great lengths. I will bring it up next chance I get.
He should have respected your request and Not called your mom. MTC is right. You are an adult and next time you speak with him, tell him not to discuss w your mom. It makes it worse for you. Find out what exactly he told your mom.
I would share some anger with the minister and tell him he\'s not helping only hindering by talking to mom. What you say in there should stay in there and if you want him to talk to mom, you\'ll ask him.
Mom needs to take a course on parenting skills. I lost count the number of times my feelings were hurt by my step sons, but that comes with the turf and I kept that to myself and thought of ways I could help them, since angry hurtful words means their going through something they need help with. Mom really needs to understand and start living one word, maturity and start acting as a parent and not a sibling. IMHO.
I\'d give that minister another chance and see how it goes. You doing good, young lady! Keep up the good work! :) Blaine
Thanks. He called my mom to see if he could take me after school and he said mom was fine with it. But when I came home she acted like it was NOT ok and like she lied to my YM. He told me all he said to her was can I talk to me about stuff we\'ve been texting about. Negative self image and depression.
Sounds like family counselling is in order, but that can be really tough if mom\'s not willing. Plus I feel it would be better for you to continue to work on yourself before bringing mom in the mix. Get stronger first, although it\'s hard with no support from home. I\'ve been there, yet it can be done...
i know it can be done. part of me wants family counseling but part of me doesn\'t. Mom did counseling but stopped. She didn\'t stay very long. maybe a month or more. IDK.