On My Way!!!!

Well here I am again it's been a few days but I made my way back. The move was really hard physically, emotionally, spirtually, in every way just hard. Now i'm slowly starting to settle in with Austin andwe have a great little routine going for the both of us. The boxes are mostly empty now and the walls are filled with new pictures and old ones. My little place is starting to feel like a home again. Funny, thought I could never have a home without him but I am learning that home is where ever the kids and I have dinner together, and watch a funny movie or just lay around and laugh. I am also discovering that I am beginning to enjoy things I thought I never would without him. Like going out to dinner and a movie with girl friends instead of him, going to brunch, going to the street fair. I have been in hiding for the past 3 months afraid to live, afraid to have a life without him, afraid I will run into him and his whore of the month. But by doing that I realized I am giving him exactly what he wants!!! Me at home miserable waiting for him to come home and just proving to him I can't make it without him.
Well I have decided no more... NO MORE!!!! First of all I look more amazing than I have in years. I lost 31 pounds so far and went from an 16/18 to a 10/12. I have alot more energy because I am working out and eating better now. Plus I play soccer with Austin everyday so I look an feel much better. Next week would have been my 21st wedding anniversary so my friends have decided there is no way i'm staying home that night. So we are going to the CASINO YAH!!!! I don't have that much money but who knows maybe I can win a little if God is on my side that night. Everyday I feel the weight of the world slowly lifting off my shoulders and I am starting to lighten up literally. My smile is returning and lauhter is replacing tears more and more everyday. It just feels good to BREATHE AGAIN...