on hold

Husband admitted he's not quite ready.  T-Man seems to have settled down and is pretty much following the rules.
 
Although I know he's smoking pot and drinking, based on his FB, we have not seen him under the influence.  Obviously, it doesn't matter whether we have or not but I know it's a matter of time when we probably will.  Since this is progressive disease - things are certain to escalate at some point.  I talked to a guy who had stopped using for 5 years, started back drinking an occasional beer here and there, gradually moving to weed and other "things", and eventually after 3 years things around him started falling a part - he lost his job, house, and the girl he was to marry.  On the other hand, my friend's son had one beer (after being in recovery for a year) and things quickly went in a downward spiral within a week.  Every person's story and experience is different so it's hard to tell when - when they're going to fall and when and if they want help.  Not clear cut.  Wish it were in some ways so that one would have a better idea as to what or when to expect.....

Replies

Michael80134
Michael80134

I always have my radar up.......................................
deleted_user
deleted_user

No clear cut treatment plan is one of the things that make it so difficult. I know that we have guidelines, but that\'s all they are. What works for one, may not work for another. I hate it.
deleted_user
deleted_user

We don\'t know what path they will choose to follow, but we can remain consistent in doing what we know is right. Stay strong.
deleted_user
deleted_user

Bab hit the nail on the head. I never really relax about M. We remember we didn\'t start this, but we sure pick up the pieces. It\'s just so darned hard and I certainly know what it could bring! Keeping you in my thoughts and hope you\'re doing ok.
mom-of-3
mom-of-3

Stay strong. It\'s hard because sometimes I feel I have to do it for two - for me and my husband. My husband is still living in a fantasy land and thinks if we think positive - it will only help our son. I told him that there\'s nothing wrong about being positive but there is a reality we can\'t ignore. He says he\'s aware of it but his actions - I don\'t know. I guess I can\'t convince him so I must remember that I am the only one that can control.
deleted_user
deleted_user

I think at this point all you can do is \"take care of yourself\". T will or won\'t abuse substances and your husband is in denial. So , until you have to take more drastic action, find support where you can. Take refuge in your friendships, your soccer and your faith. Do what you can to shore yourself up and step outside of the worries and stress and be good to yourself. Wishing you peace!