On familial relationships
When thinking, writing and working on my goal I have limited myself by thinking only of 'repairing relationships' as reaching out to family members who I have a problem with or who have written me off for silly reasons. It has just occurred to me that I have come much further on my goal by my attempt at giving my mother all the honor and respect I possibly can. I have also made progress on my goal by my efforts to really listen to my daughter, encourage her and laugh with her more. There is one person in the family I have always had a good, trusting, positive relationship with and that is my stepdad, everyone in the family could say the same. He is just awesome, so intelligent, funny, caring, laid back and wonderful. I am so glad he came into our lives when I was a 5th grader. He was my hero in my youth and he is my daughter's hero. He is one of a kind. I have started praying for the people on that long list who have hurt me, betrayed me, wounded me and for whom I have held unforgiveness. Some were easy to forgive but those left on the list I have struggled much with forgiving because the trespasses were huge and though I wanted to forgive and move on I just couldn't seem to. I will make this goal number two: Forgiving others. Thanks for listening. : ) ~Sherry
Replies
The bible seems to make it an easy thing to forgive. I have a hard time forgiving others for the years of abuse I have been through and feeling and being alone in my struggles. One thing that has helped me, is that in one bible study I learned that forgiveness does not equal trust. Just because we forgive does not mean we have to trust also and allow someone to abuse us again. Forgiveness is more for us than that person. They care less if we sincerely forgive them or not. We are the ones that are in pain about not forgiving, not them.
I know we want to have some kind of power by not forgiving. We do not give up that power, and if anything we become more powerful, because we are not allowing those others to control and hurt us anymore.
Kudos for starting out on such a worthy goal! I am happy you have your step-dad, he sounds like a great guy. I have tons of people in general and some family who have written me off. When I am tempted to be bitter I just pray for them. I have heard it said that if you will sincerely pray for a person for 2 weeks that the resentment will ease. It never took me that long so far.
Forgiveness is wonderful because it heals us inside! Good for you Sherry for putting forth the effort to forgive, you wont regret it.
Hugs, Donna
FOOD FOR THOUGHT:
It is not if someone else is worthy of your Forgiveness.........But, are you worthy?
God is not a being but BEING itself!
Can you afford not to forgive?
I have found every time I forgive myself for my trespasses (and there have been many) it\'s easier for me to let others off the hook. And my prayer is always that I contine to forgive myself and pray everyday that I become more Christ-like and see the Christ-ness in those I have trouble forgiving. I pray to remember their innocence before they became damaged. This is just what I do. I still struggle with forgivess at times, but am sooooooo much better!
ANOTHER GOOD FOR THOUGHT:
A teacher of mine once quoted \"If we don\'t forgive a person/situation, we have a chain that is attached to them that is stronger than steel!\"
Nice Journal Sherry! Good for you my hope-filled friend!
Vicki
It is hard to forgive when we have been hurt. I think it is the memory of the hurt I don\'t want to release, because I am afraid that it will happen again.May we both go forward with healing.
Wow, thank you all for the encouraging comments. I appreciate you all and what you have written here. Forgiveness may not always be easy but I believe it is worth every ounce of effort it takes to get there and find the freedom so needed from the harbored unforgiveness. I hope to bid farewell to all anger, pain, grudges and bitterness that have been a poison in me. It will happen.
Sorry I\'m late to the party. Sherry that was a really well written and powerfull journal. Thanks for your wise words we all benefit from them.
Thank you so much for your comment Scott. : )