On edge

Today we got in another fight. And he was going to leave (not for good just cause we had a game) well he kept saying he was leaving but I was breaking down and the first thing that went threw my mind was I need to die. It hurts me that that thought goes threw my head I have kids I shouldn't be thinking like that. Even though I really didn't want to go I was kept thinking I was kinda mad tgat me made me go because I really wanted to cutt. I just want to be better I don't want to be broken anymore.