old journals Jan 2018-August 2018

why do I do the things I do....

January 9, 2018

So I work at a hotel thought it was going to open some doors...thought they would listen to my ideas and maybe I could be more of a part of a team maybe could do some promotional things for them...yada yada yada...I am nothing more then a worker seen...but not heard. I know I know jobs in hotels are like that...my mistake to think I was more then just a rat in the ultimate rat race this time a elder among childish individuals all whom are younger then me...playing at business when they clearly have no clue as to how to keep the hotel busy. two weddings, and a birthday party are not busy enough. Also would it kill them to have at least a decent bar/and or restaurant hear. On another note I have to move preferably out of this county...make that this city all together to much traffic. As I am looking for a job and a house to move to with my two kids and dog and cats I see a lot of people desperate for work I have attempted to find them jobs on craigslist so I can somehow help them out. I was there before it sucks desperation ,and homelessness ,and depression ,and betrayal from people you trusted. Been there done that. I have been up to t screwed over, and thoroughly fucked by people so why do I have to be nice all the time I do not understand the things I do.