old behavior

Now that I'm putting more responsibility on T-Man - he's resisting and shutting down.  He was supposed to work from home (through a friend of ours) so that he could make some $ toward his court fees. Decided to sleep in because he has a "headache" and even hours later (I know I was going into controlling mode by constantly reminding him) he decided not to call the guy to set something up for tomorrow and blow off his dentist appointment.  He won't even take advantage of the community hours we have set up for him.  Instead he slithers away and takes off.  
I know I am slipping myself - allowing myself to fall into enabling him partly because of my husband but --- it's sometimes frustrating.  Most times I can let go but today it was hard because I know he's running out of time.  I know.  I know.  It's his decision.  
I'm so angry with him too.  I want to turn off his cell (he never answers or calls us from it anyway) but the one thing he has been doing is at least going (part-time) to school at our metro community college.  I hang onto that.  I feel if I shut it off he'll stop going. Silly huh?  Out of the two classes he's doing - I know that he isn't doing well in one - photography!  He hates the class and doesn't respect the teacher.  He says she isn't very bright and teaches at a very low level.  So instead?  He shuts down and doesn't go.  Always cuts his nose to spite his face.  Frustrating.  I know - Let Go And Let God.  And so I will.....