OK Holidays
Hi All,
I guess I’m asking for some Help and Advice. I know from all my reading how the Holidays can trigger many emotions from us. And the logic side of me tells me I will get past this, one step at a time, keep moving forward. But my Heart is feeling torn apart again! Why am I having these thoughts that I would rather be back in the dysfunctional, abusive marriage than to be alone. Knowing I am better off now than a year ago, why do I hurt. Again the logic side says it is a phase everyone goes through, but even being out with friends leaves me feeling worse. I am and will always be a family rooted type person. I do not like this empty feeling I have right now, knowing that this is the beginning of being alone.
Any advice or encouragement from those that have already been through a Holiday season or two?
And I'm sorry I am whining, just a very tuff week.
Replies
This isn\'t whinning. Sadly, it is the reality of divorce. There are triggers and the holiday season is the biggest trigger we have. Are your kids near you? I can\'t remember your family situation. I guess we need new traditions. I haven\'t established them yet and I am a little worried about that. You are right. It is a temporary situation but this is the 3rd year for me (and actually 4th) with everything changed. I would say it gets better but so far it hasn\'t. I\'m anxious to hear from others who are better at this than me. Prayers and hugs!!!
Diane
We are here to listen to you...and I agree with drtextdi....is the reality of divorce.
Holidays are always hard. Surround yourself with good friends and family..
Hugs
Thank you both for your comments. I know what you say is true and have been felt by all I put up decorations this weekend and the experience did help me face a couple of things I had not Faced yet. But I am better today and further down the path to healing. Thank You again.
WT, you don\'t have to apologise at all for \"whining.\" Rather, I want to tell you I am proud of you for being honest about how you are feeling right now. That takes a lot of courage to face painful emotions. It is normal, what you are feeling. Especially during this holiday season. Old memories are bound to come up. Many people feel guilty about feeling lonely and sad.
I see from your recent status that you are planning on going back to your counsellor to get what you call a \"jump start.\" I say, good on you!
Especially during this time, you need as much support as you can muster up... seeing your counsellor, perhaps attending DivorceCare or another support group will help greatly.
I had a hard Christmas last year when I was still separated. To make it a more gentle experience for me, I invited a single Mom over for Christmas. She too was alone. Focussing on her helped to ease some of the emptiness.
I know you will get the support you need!
((hug))
PH