Oh Wow - after all this, and I feel like the Heel
I received a message from Verizon regarding our phones. He owed $300 on the account and they were going to turn the phones off. He didn't know that I had already planned on having him removed from the account on 1/21 (and I was going to pay the balance due then). Today, I forwarded the text to him regarding the shut off notice. I asked him nicely in a text what his plan was. He refuses to answer me. What does he think I am? A fool to continue to pay his Verizon bill and have him remain on my account? So, I called Verizon, paid off the balance, changed my account to a cheaper one (without him) and disconnected his phone. so there. No more 585-794-0975. His phone number is no longer. So go his contacts for work. For his family. Oh the fuck well. I have asked him now for two weeks what his plan was. How much and when he was going to pay on these bills he owed. He refuses to answer me. Really? After 6 years? Really? I am no schmuck. Good bye Kevin!! You piece of shit.
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My comment disappeared first rime. DAMN>
I am so sorry to hear this, and yeah, I remember well what you have already been through and this is just awful to have the sense of a replay.
FWIW.... they act badly if you subsidize them, according to my shrink. I had a similar financial relationship with my crazy ex. Actually, I paid all the bills, he did plenty of work on mutual interests, and I thought we were square. It seemed fair to me in many ways.
No. They MUST make the money, or at least all of their own, and if they don\'t ....antics ensue, per my shrink. I think she is right. Now I am really adamant about men picking up the tabs and won\'t even consider seeing someone who won\'t because of what I have been put through. I am hetero and if this is the way they are, I either have to find a man who can pay his own bills or ... be alone as I am. I DO get that now. Totally. Everytime I see a woman making this error I want to warn her. It is not our fault. we re generous and NOT judging.... but it is not how they can function...
Just the same.. him sneaking out like that and all those lies..... NOT what you needed and him trying to put it on your \"meanness\".... as you said.... WOW.
GF, I am SO sorry, I know this is just the PITS for you and is bringing up the past issues emotionally for you, big time. Hugs and deepest sympathy from boydie
It wouldn\'t surprise me a bit if he already had another cell phone account with another carrier OR with Verizon that didn\'t include you.
Stop beating yourself up about this and just keep going forward. And remember NO MORE MS.NICE GIRL. It\'s \"every woman for herself\" when it comes to divorce. Look out for NO. 1. He shouldn\'t matter to you anymore.
Yeah, I was trying to be so hip - you know - pay my own way - and then I began to pay his too. I am realizing slowly that things were beautiful and he loved me to death (and I mean loved me) all while I was not bugging him about his work (or lack thereof) and his responsibilities, such as taxes, child support and the financial agreement he had made with me and with his father.
No Cowgirl - no other cell phone. He is actually quite open about most things in his life. I was with him 6 years. Knew his kid, his parents, his family. I\'m telling you, he just just cannot stand responsibility or being told what to do. Things were fine if I stayed off his back - but as things were mounting up I was becoming very scared (and then mad). That anger and fear was manifesting itself in sarcasm and avoidance on my behalf (I know very immature but I HATE confrontation) so he was getting mad at me. That anger he had for me was way more than the guilt he could begin to feel for what he was doing to me. You see, he has always lived his life on the edge. Taking from one pocket to pay into the other. Just paying enough on every bill to not have a shut off. He knew how I felt about that kind of living, but I kept always giving him the chance. He knew that if the power was shut off, the water, the TV or the phones that he was gone. It was our written understanding that he was kicked out if that happened. That\'s why I believe he left - he pre-empted me. He knew that the shit was going to hit the fan. That he was so far behind that he could never catch up - so he ran. Thing is, it was never about the money. I have plenty of money to cover all expensses. It was all about him being a man. And I would have stuck with him, yet again, if he had been honest about not being able to afford his commitments. I understand that business is tough now. I understand that the business he is in is up and down. I\'m not a monster. All I ever asked was that he bring me into these life-altering decision.
Well, you are much better off WITHOUT someone like him. I am done giving second and third chances with these guys. Tom is walking a very thin line with me at the moment and I\'m glad as Hell to be away from home (and him) for two weeks. I may just have to give him his \"walking papers\" when I get back.
Yipes - will these guys never figure out what they have? I went on a dating site last week to invent a dating persona - to catch Kevin in the act of trying to replace me with someone that labeled herself as \"Get me some\"and looking only for a non-committed relationship. Kevin has not been on the site yet, but in the one week\'s span I have received over 100 messages from guys. One guy I can remember from 6 years ago when I was on that site. My new persona does not include a pic. Just a very few words indicating that I want some with no committment. This guy Bob, that I knew 6 years ago, wrote me this moring (of course not knowing it is me) and said, \" love the pics, you are beautiful. Want to hook up?\" Ok really, Bob? First, my profile does NOT include a pic. Second, if I look at your profile you refer to yourself as a Christian man looking for a relationship - yuck - men make me SICK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Anybody who thinks there are whole and decent men out there are simply delusional or have not gotten out much. They are all hiding something, every last one of them. It is a cruel God, or one with a sense of humor/irony that makes decent women hetero. We would get more integrity and moral fortitude from barn animals... yeah, I am bitter.
I have seen hundreds of profiles, interviewed hundreds and hundreds of men. The majority can be found on Match AND Adult Friend Finders. Some dont\' even bother to change their profile or names or pictures for the two (supposedly) different venues those two sites represent.
Are you sure you want to mess with the dating sites now? Seems counter productive and a little self punishing. All that is available is ED ridden sex and disillusion... At our ages, they aren\'t even \"only good for one thing\" anymore. I have had 5 partners in 5 years, 4 had ED. Swell.
I have four men in my life currently that I am friends with that were would-be suitors, I keep them at a distance because I KNOW that if I let them get any closer, it will be same shit, different day. The only way I can continue to respect men is to NOT get to know them too well.
Interestingly, women are the opposite in my experience: the longer you know a woman, the more you see her many strengths and character. Men always come off as elder children when you get to really know them....
I think you may find you are not correct about your surmises regarding his phone account situation. How would he earn any income without a phone for one thing, for another... second phones are one of the first things they ALL do....of course I am thinking about cheaters and other liars as examples, but leaving on the sly isn\'t much of a step up from cheating.. still involves making decisions that impact YOU w/o giving you a voice.....
I am truly sorry both of you (including Cowgirl) are having these harsh moments with your menfolk, current and likely stbxs. You both know I envied the CRAP outta you both all this time and was pretty vested in your relationships\' successes.. it made me happy to think you two had found great men.
Maybe they will turn around somehow, but ultimately.... they ALL have feet of clay in my opinion. Doesn\'t mean I don\'t lust after them now and then, but I chose NOT to have children.... men are waaaaaay too much like children.
I wish I had a lot of sunshine to express about prospects for near senior and senior het women.....
In any event.. life is survivable without illusions.
I wish there was not so much pain attached to trying to love.....I hoep you feel better. I know your family makes you happy, Steep yourself in that as much as you can. You are loved!
Yeah, sweetie, I am not enrolled in a dating site for any other purpose other than to see if Kevin will go back there and if I can interest him in this fake persona.
Kevin is younger than I, no problem whatsoever in the erectile department...Not sure how I would handle that - but I\'m thinking not well.
I\'ll figure this all out - I\'m not worried. I love my house, my solitude (at least initially), and if I want to date I will. I read on a site the other day that the best way to prevent sex before you want it when dating is to purchase Spanx and wear it on your dates. No unexpected sex will occur when you are wearing those!! I\'m off for Spanx this weekend. Gotta\' keep the girl in check.
Oh, and Boydie, I only disconnected his phone yesterday. Before me he was on his sister\'s family plan, and then after a few year\'s dating he was on mine. He had no other phone. He was not cheating. He was not philandering. He was just lieing to me to cover up the fact that he couldn\'t hold up his end of the bargain. Stupid male pride.
Ahhh, the mooch! Yep, I dated one of those too. If you don\'t cut them loose, they\'ll drain you dry. Good for you for standing up for yourself and taking care of business.
Hugs!
My ex told me right before he walked out the door that I would be mean if I cut off his phone. A few days later I was told by his father that my ex claims he had his phone bill paid months in advance, which is not true because he could rarely afford rent and had bill collectors of his own at our door. So, as much as I didn\'t want to, I had to put a hold on his plan. My ex didn\'t have the strength to talk to me even when I was being nice and calm, and I was still trying to figure everything out. It\'s been only a few days since I cut off the phone, a week since he left, but I am sure he is fuming. What did he expect? I didn\'t want to do this, but I can\'t pay for someone that plans to give me nothing in return.