Oh What the Hell

Everyone. I'm seriously struggling with some serious addiction issues and it is crazy for me right now. Just the other day I drank some Hennessee and a guy in the residential facility I'm staying in was argueing with some new chick about cigarettes or something and I went up to him and was like TELL EM WHO'S BOSS right in his face and then he got pissed off and came up to me like he was gunna swing or something but then he went to the staff and shoved her in the face. Then staff came and got pissed at me because I was provoking the guy or something like that which I kind of was; although I might have provoked him, I still think I'm not resposible for his actions. Anyway then yesterday the day after that I they made me go to the mitchel clinic to talk to this guy tod and he was being pretty sincere but I was being a dick because I was agitated and hung over and wasn't being a very good listener due to how agitated and randomly paranoid I was. He suggested I go talk to a psychiatrist and I don't take medication or anything like that because I don't believe that psych meds really make a difference for jack shit. Atleast it doesn't seem as if any of them make that much of a difference for me. I think using medication for psychiatric issues is just fucking stupid, because they make you feel like shit, and on top of that your putting chemicals in your body that are hindering the natural function of your brain. However, after I told that guy that his idea of me seeing a psychiatrist was fucking stupid, I left the building and walked around emmaus and got a peice of cardboard and wrote homeless on it although I wasn't, I still pretended to be; but no body even gave me any money which was wasn't that big of a deal because I had a gold chain and about 100 bucks on me anyway. After I made the sign, I went to this guy's music shop and played on a right handed guitar; although I play left handed I still played on it anyway because he didn't have any left handed ones. Then he said if i'm homeless I should try to get a job so I went to the place next door; but they were closed so I stopped looking. Then I decided If i'm homeless and need help I should search for God so I went to the church right next door; but nothing happened. I still felt the same. So I continued to walk and walk and walk till I got so tired of walking I decided that I should go get some food. So I went and got a vegan burrito with califlower because I'm vegan and that shit was dank as a mother fucker. After I left I decided I didn't want to be homeless anymore so I went back to the residential facility I'm at for crazy people. I went to this guy's group downstairs and decided I probably shouldn't drink anymore or I might actually be homeless one day. So I haven't drank since and I'm going to an AA meeting tomorrow.