oh my! these thoughts
I don't know if I am normal any more. No matter how I feel someone has an answer as to how to change it. It will only be 6 months on Christmas. I am doing okay but do have days when I am mad, ungrateful, sad, depressed, happy, reminiscent, etc...
I do have a place to stay, for which I am grateful, but I do not have a place I call home. I have family 1000's of miles apart and feel alone. Most of "our" friends are non existent; oh and we had "our" friends mostly! I don't have a job anymore, but the bills didn't leave with them. There was no money to get because My husband was in transition between jobs trying to better our life. My one dog has been diagnosed with diabetes 1 month ago, and no I am not putting him to sleep just so I don't have to spend money...he is acting normal excluding his appetite for constant water.
The advice is...
I need to begin living for myself, Pete is in a better place. Stop dwelling on the we and think about the I. You just have to be thankful that you have a bed and roof. Stop thinking about having your own place because it will never happen again. Geez, I am only 53! Put your dog to sleep and save what little money you have and then you will have more availability in working hours. yea not so much...he is fine other than drinking alot which is supposed to stop after we regulate the insulin! Work 2 or 3 jobs, but you still may not be able to afford a place. Go out and meet people. Keep your mind busy and don't think about him so much.
I have closed so many chapters that were once our life. I had to put affairs in order in 2 states in the past 5.5 months. I do not sit in bed and wallow in self pity. I do things every day just to stay busy and look for jobs. I have even picked my camera back up a few times and did some writing. I pay bills, I eat, I sleep (maybe not like I used to to), I take care of my dogs, I communicate with my children, I clean....
What else am I supposed to do? Why does everyone think that I am doing it all wrong? Why does everyone think its time to move on and leave him a distant memory?
Sorry I am VERY frustrated today!!!!! Needed to vent.
I do have a place to stay, for which I am grateful, but I do not have a place I call home. I have family 1000's of miles apart and feel alone. Most of "our" friends are non existent; oh and we had "our" friends mostly! I don't have a job anymore, but the bills didn't leave with them. There was no money to get because My husband was in transition between jobs trying to better our life. My one dog has been diagnosed with diabetes 1 month ago, and no I am not putting him to sleep just so I don't have to spend money...he is acting normal excluding his appetite for constant water.
The advice is...
I need to begin living for myself, Pete is in a better place. Stop dwelling on the we and think about the I. You just have to be thankful that you have a bed and roof. Stop thinking about having your own place because it will never happen again. Geez, I am only 53! Put your dog to sleep and save what little money you have and then you will have more availability in working hours. yea not so much...he is fine other than drinking alot which is supposed to stop after we regulate the insulin! Work 2 or 3 jobs, but you still may not be able to afford a place. Go out and meet people. Keep your mind busy and don't think about him so much.
I have closed so many chapters that were once our life. I had to put affairs in order in 2 states in the past 5.5 months. I do not sit in bed and wallow in self pity. I do things every day just to stay busy and look for jobs. I have even picked my camera back up a few times and did some writing. I pay bills, I eat, I sleep (maybe not like I used to to), I take care of my dogs, I communicate with my children, I clean....
What else am I supposed to do? Why does everyone think that I am doing it all wrong? Why does everyone think its time to move on and leave him a distant memory?
Sorry I am VERY frustrated today!!!!! Needed to vent.
Replies
No one who has not been through this understands the monumental amount of stuff that has to be done, nor the emotional toll that takes on you. I was the only person in my circle of friends and colleagues who was a widow. NOBODY understood it. Easy to give advice when you dont\' know what you\'re talking about, at least that\'s the way it sure seemed to me when I got all those same platitudes you\'ve been getting. I am glad you found DS - at least here we understand it, because we\'re either in it or been through it, too.
Love and Hugs, Martha